TODAY | March 06, 2014
>>> we're back with more of "today" on this thirsty thursday. in case you thought there wasn't any room for another outrageous tv reality show , think again.
>> there is a new one called "chrisley knows best." it follows the life of an atlanta millionaire and father of five, todd chrisley, who rules his roost with an iron fist . take a look.
>> people around us see this pretty picture and think it's perfect. we're not perfect.
>> the perfect should be something you should strive to be. i expect a certain standard. i want us to live a certain way. julie never gets stressed out over that kind of stuff.
>> if i did, i would be crazy because that's every day.
>> all righty then.
>> todd chrisley is here with us, along with family psychologist jennifer hartsteen, who has some suggestions when it comes to parenting. we're doing something a little different today.
>> we're going to critique your parenting, have jen do that. let's talk about your show for one second. you didn't go out there and say, hey, guys, i want to do a reality show . they came to you.
>> the network came to us and said you guys are made for television. i'm thinking, not so sure about that. but at any rate, they felt like that the crazy we deal with every day was something that the rest of the world could learn something from.
>> were you like a helicopter parent. are you micromanaging.
>> do you hover?
>> i do hover. i do hover.
>> are you concerned about your hovering? do you think that is -- first of all, were you parented the same way?
>> i was parented very similar. but i think that i've taken it to a whole other level. and --
>> i think out of fear of something happening to one of my children and the fact i love them with all of my heart. and i want them to be good, decent, honest people. i want them to be kind people.
>> motivations are perfect, right?
>> is that the way to do it, do you think?
>> no. it is a very short answer. but the motivation is what matters. if we're parenting out of fear, there is the risk your kids are never going to learn how to really handle the life that they need to handle on their own. and that's really a risk of being too involved and too hovery. they're not going to learn,000 pi how to pick themselves up or do things because you're always there for them.
>> parents who hover have children who sneak around. i'm sure that's something you're concerned about. but i know -- i don't know if you're the same age i am, but this world changed so much since we were children. and the way we were parented. so your fear is well founded in some respects. this is a different world now with different problems and different realities.
>> what do we do about those fears, jennifer?
>> well --
>> come on.
>> the fear is okay. but if you -- we were talking earlier, if we're setting this stage early, setting up morals, values, and explaining to our children early, they're going to make better decisions. teenagers, their job is to test the boundaries, push the limits, that's what they do. that's the time we have to be as involved as possible, but too involved, they don't learn how tow clean up their own mess.
>> let's check out one clip. this is when you told your son chase he was not going to go to a football game . okay. let's watch what happened.
>> i can talk to chase until i am blue in the face , he's a visual learner. so this time i'm going to give him something to visualize. he's not messing with an amateur.
>> what is that?
>> what's on my car?
>> it is a gift i left for you.
>> do you understand how that gift keeps giving?
>> yes. i'll talk to you later .
>> listen, it was better to put the boot there than put a boot on his butt.
>> this was to keep him from going because he was going to go anyway.
>> he went to the game, that's why the boot went there. so i placed the boot on the car, it stayed there for a week and now he understands we have rules, we all have things we have to live by.
>> i don't disagree with that logic. i guess what i would suggest is why not say, hey, you broke the rules, hand over the keys to your car, car is mine for the next week until --
>> the visual thing was important.
>> and he steals the keys back.
>> he's a thief too. i'm sorry.
>> that's something -- that's something else we got to work on. exactly. exactly.
>> and then i do think -- i do think --
>> exactly. i think sometimes the conversation is what needs to happen too. you know, this is what's going to happen. and if he steals the keys back, there goes a boot goes on the car.
>> should know i've had these conversations repeatedly five times fold. he should have learned.
>> i'll take you than the one out golfing at cocktail parties no idea where his kids are.
>> it premieres next tuesday on usa at 10:00 , 9:00 central.