TODAY   |  February 25, 2014

How can I tweak my online profile to get more dates?

Elle advice columnist E. Jean Carroll and relationship expert Matthew Hussey answer viewers’ questions about such issues as how to get your husband to spend more time with you.

Share This:

This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>> we're back with more of "today" on this booze day tuesday. and it is "today's" relationships. they're back, the dynamic duo of love and dating.

>> elle's advice columnist e. jean carroll and host of i heart radio's love life with matthew hussey.

>> we love it. you are the odd couple. we adore you.

>> ready for the questions?

>> yes.

>> let's begin. lisa says this. been married almost 24 years to a good man, i've been telling him what i like and don't like from food to sex and he still doesn't get it.

>> for 24 years.

>> now what?

>> 24 years.

>> long years, i bet.

>> firstly, at this stage, it is either that he doesn't care or he doesn't get it. if he doesn't get it, it is down to her communication. if he doesn't care, it is a deficiency with him in the relationship. if he doesn't get it, a quick tip for her, make it his idea. it if she says, look, i've been telling you about all these things i want and you're not doing them still, help me, how do we solve this. let him come up with a solution and see what he says. by the way, she should also shine a light on herself in that moment and say, by the way, while we're at it, is there something i can do to please you. now you're creating this turning point of a moment in a relationship where you're saying, here's where things could change.

>> e. jean, what do you think?

>> is this booze day tuesday? bring on the cooking sherry because matthew 's cooking. that's good. but i think it is not about him. i think she should say, honey, next tuesday we're going to have university and the first seminar is going to be kissing. first you're going to show him film, maybe tom jones , great makeout scene, then you're going to get out a -- with the food. remember the scene? food.

>> elevating even now.

>> the food. and then open up the joy of sex and just point to what you want and then you go into the lab where she shows you exactly how she likes to be kissed.

>> what about that?

>> the brproblem with this question it is reminiscent of someone who is too apoll jogetic for their guy. she starts with i have a good man. i think that's the problem. she's making an excuse for him.

>> 24 years.

>> 24 years. by the way, at what point do you stop saying he's a good man when he's not meeting any of your needs or doing the things you want him to do?

>> you want your marriage to continue.

>> there you go.

>> for all kinds of different reasons.

>> i think she's probably apologetic on a daily basis for him.

>> let's move on. we have to move on.

>> question two.

>> question two. i just started online dating and i get lots of likes and winks on my page but not many e-mails. what should i write on a profile to invite a potential date to start a conversation?

>> want to start?

>> picture is everything. and short, short profile, and message the guys. you see somebody cute, message them. but the picture is really, you know, three-quarters, show a little curve, pretty smile, that's it.

>> a little cleavage never hurt anybody. she has to be more proactive. if guys are winking at her, that's the equivalent of a guy looking across the bar. sometimes you got to make that next move. she shouldn't make the next move by suddenly writing him an essay or asking him ten questions. that's going to look desperate. if she said, if he said, you know, my favorite show is book of mormon , she should say, i love that show killed me when i saw it. by the way, thanks for the wink. if she doesn't include any questions, it is just a statement, it is like she's winking back but with more effort.

>> tina says, how do you get your husband to spend time with you instead of baby-sitting his 15-year-old son who is my stepson. spends time with her stepson.

>> that to me smacks of a woman who doesn't feel like a priority. and actually there is undertones of jealousy in that whole thing. she wouldn't be saying the same thing if it was her son. it is her stepson and makes the point of saying that. the fact is, i would say firstly, you better start being a teammate in that situation. don't recommend -- take your son to a ball game, there say great indian restaurant , let's introduce him to indian food . at the same time, start making more demands for yourself. you can't do that until you're a genuine teammate.

>> matthew has great ideas and you can go to one of the seminars. how to get the guy seminars.

>> read your column.

>> we got to go. matthew will be back in a few weeks with more of your questions.

>> i can't wait.

>> go to and hit