TODAY | December 31, 2013
>>> refreshed, revived, balanced.
>> for many the push and pull of life can be overwhelming and this year's tug of war may bleed into next year's sense of happiness.
>> here to help you break the silence is the author of break through your upper limits on tv, clint arthur. good morning to you both.
>> happy early new year.
>> happy new year.
>> we always say, stephanie, it's the turning of a page. i'll be a completely different person starting january 1st . how do you begin to achieve that? it never seems to workout that way.
>> you have to get clear about what it is you want and what it is you're willing to let go of. you have to make room for the thing that is good by releasing that which is no longer working and part of the way you can do that is by acknowledging your values. what you value dictates what you choose.
>> and you say that writing things down is a good tactic.
>> you have a responsibility to it.
>> yeah. if you write down what's here now, what you're give ago tension to both in your life and in your mind, then you can also take another list and say what is working there. what is not working there, and what do i need to take myself into a forward, positive motion.
>> so clint, you have a good idea. you say december 31st is a good day to stop and ask yourself a question. what do you ask?
>> ask yourself if this is going to be the last year of your life, what would you want to accomplish? that's been a super power in my life. especially when you ask yourself on this peak state moment like new year's eve or new year's day. there's nothing you can cannot achieve.
>> how do you prevent life from getting in the way. you can make a big list and you want to do all of these things. but then your daily routine kind of stops you. how do you break through all of that?
>> invest in yourself and in a mentor. i have invested so much money in mentorship and that allowed noah chooef so mu -- me to achieve so much. if you can feel like you're invested in what you're trying to do, that will keep you motivated to stay after your goal.
>> and you also said something about going out. i mean, we're so often out of our comfort zone when we ask for ourselves. and you mention that that's an important thing to ask of yourself is how comfortable are you not being comfortable in your comfort zone .
>> yeah, pushing through your limits. life begins where your comfort zone ends. and the more you push outside of your every day life and your boundaries, the more you're going to grow as a person and achieve in this world and create as a legacy.
>> it's scary.
>> it can be.
>> but it's great is when it's scary.
>> and a lot of it is about pulling away from what's comfortable and what we're used to and what we're accustomed to. what are examples people can be doing to that end?
>> you have to be willing to get rid of the crumbs in order to make room for the cake. you have to be willing to acknowledge that you're worthy of the cake and the crumbs are just the crumbs. there's three steps to do that. one is to see what you want, vision what it is the way agent lea -- athletes do. second thing is to claim it. say it outloud to another person. bring another witness to what you want to be held accountable for and then do it. action trumps everything. if you're in that partnership with that accountability and you're really accountable to the thing you want to make happen this year, make it real. that's the way to avoid i'm just making a resolution and by january 28th no one is in the gym anymore.
>> and forgiving yourself is there is a back step. that thing well i'm off my diet so i might as well eat the whole cake. how about start again.
>> and acknowledge that you will fail and that will inform the success. you must fall back. you're human. that's the other thing. we think resolution and perfection and absolute. it just can't be that way. i am guilty of that. i'm not saying i know how to do this but taking pressure off is a good idea.
>> here's one from andrea, after a broken relationship and awful 2013 how can i get a more positive outlook for '14?
>> be excited. when you let go of the old, that's when the new can come in and after you're leaving this broken relationship, let it go. let it go and just be open to whatever the year will bring and it will bring beautiful things .
>> i feel better about 2014 already.
>> i feel good right now.
>> happy new year to you both.
>> happy new year to you