TODAY | December 04, 2013
>>> if you're trying to be smart about money but you can't seem to build a savings or you're a people pleaser that can't seem to say no, you may just need a nudge in the right direction.
>> we brought back our dream team panel of life coaches to offer good advice. good morning dream team .
>> good morning.
>> we've got you assembled here. let's get right into the questions. we have good ones today. asking about saving money.
>> i have been working really hard at being more disciplined with money and having a savings account , however any time i feel like i have a healthy bank account . something happens. i dip back into savings and i'm right back at square one. how can i make finances an even bigger priority.
>> this sounds like a very familiar problem. you try and try to save but you cab can't do it.
>> i want to congratulate her for having that discipline. she is saying she has a healthy bank account but her finances keep getting sick. she needs a bigger cushion. i would suggest he looks back the last 12 months what were the emergencies that came up. add them up and divide by 12 and add to her budget that amount she needs. some months she will use it and she'll have to redefine what it means to have a healthy bank account .
>> and it's time to get serious about her finances. do you think there's maybe an emotional connection at all?
>> i do. i think your relationship to money is part of it. what is she thinking about when that account gets to a certain level? is she afraid it's going to go away? does she feel worthy of having an abundant bank account ? it's tracking your thoughts as well as the savings and the money.
>> this is fern who is worried about overextending herself. let's listen.
>> i find myself saying yes to so many different projects and i'm dabbling in many things that i love yet i worry that i'm wearing myself too thin. i find it hard to make time for the people i care about and even make time for going to yoga class seems tough.
>> it's a question of focus.
>> she sooverextending herself. my suggest is pick one exercise or activity she is excited about and only focus on it. get rid of everything else and stay focused on that one exercise. see what that feels like to her. let herself experience a shift in her patterns and behavior and enjoy the experience of being in that one activity for a little while.
>> but it's hard to say no to your boss or people that come to you and say can you help me with this project or that project?
>> this is often times based in fear. i saw a lot of pain in her face. she needs to ask what am i afraid will happen if i say no and so what will i do if that happens? she needs to face her fears. get clear about what they are and she needs to only say yes when she means it. that's important.
>> another question from crysta. wants to keep things positive.
>> i'm finding that so many conversations end up decree tecritiquing the actions of other people. how do i do this without sounding judgmental or holier than thou.
>> i think this is a show don't tell and model the behavior and attitude you want to put into the world. if you resist them they'll feel controlled and they won't want to go. so show don't tell and then if the conversation doesn't shift, then politely excuse yourself.
>> so people are talking or fast talking or bad talking, then just walk away .
>> just walk away .
>> that's a hard thing to do. ladies, thank you so much.
>> our dream team .
>> they're back.
>> we're back in a moment. this is "today" on nbc.