TODAY

TODAY   |  November 08, 2013

What to do when someone one-ups you

Have you ever wondered how to deal with someone who one-upped everything you said? Savannah Guthrie and Willie Geist talk to Thomas Farley from whatmannersmost.com about the proper etiquette.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> on the social are you a story topper? one of those people that --

>> that can't help one-upping the conversation, for better or for worse.

>> my insurance company said if i completed this class they'd lower my rates.

>> mine said they'd lower my rates too. i guess my insurance company is better than yours.

>> we all know a story topper. someone that feels the need to top a story with a better or more outrageous version of their own.

>> my grandfather is yorj washington. he's on the dollar bill . i am too. that's my eye on the pyramid.

>> everybody wants to be top dog and when it's story telling time and you have a gathering of people, the person with the best story is top dog at that point in the social setting.

>> unlike some toppers i know i try to listen to a person's story and then i make a little comment like that's so great for you and then i go into my topic.

>> we all do it in some ways. just some people are worse than others. i've done it myself. you've done it. you've done it.

>> when it comes to social media , everybody has a story .

>> facebook toppers.

>> oh.

>> this is where people go crazy. you put like vacation pictures up and then they tell you about the better vacation that they just had.

>> correct. and then he also post their vacation pictures.

>> i am a name dropper too. not only am i a topper, i'm a droerp.

>> you're a topper dropper.

>> i'm a topper dropper.

>> i would say like i was hanging out with dustin diamond the other day.

>> i'm hanging out with dustin hoffman .

>> see.

>> what do you do when you encounter the dreaded story topper?

>> thomas farly, always good to see you. why do we do it? what is it about us that has the need to top somebody's story ?

>> it serves a dual function. it helps keep the conversation going but there's a little bit of insecurity in there so people feel like they need to one up. there's a lot of names for this. there's the one upper and the been there done that person. i think it's something that people really struggle with at a party and i think we have good tips for how to deal with it.

>> there's a fine line between just connecting and say you had that experience, i had a similar experience too and being that obnoxious person that's trying to one up you.

>> that's right. when someone is trying to steal the thunder it's a problem for them.

>> would you confront the person?

>> if you're at a cocktail party and it's happening once i wouldn't stay there once or waste your good stories on the person. so save it for a more receptive crowd.

>> await a better audience. also stand up for yourself. what do you mean by that?

>> maybe thanksgiving is coming up and maybe you know uncle sam has the stories to top everybody. i'd say i love your stories and i appreciate that you're world travelled but i don't feel like i ever get in a word edge-wise.

>> should you have an even better story . maybe start with story number three and try to outtop the topper?

>> very strategic.

>> oh.

>> that's a battle you can't win. they're always going to have one better than you are. it's almost like a contest.

>> i like the ones that are just a complete lie. well, that's interesting, i went to the moon once.

>> really? i walked to the moon.

>> lady gaga , she is doing her concert in space, i'm going to that in a couple of weeks.

>> that's what i'm talking about.

>> well, lady gaga is my sister.

>> thank you.

>> thomas, thank you so much. coming up next, the skill is that about to come