TODAY   |  October 04, 2013

The opposite of old isn’t young: It’s healthy!

Women have a tendency to put themselves down in order to commiserate with others, but Lucy Danziger of Self magazine and psychiatrist Catherine Birndorf say: Stop with the self-deprecating comments!

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> we all complain about getting old like someone i know. take a look.

>> i'm too old for this.

>> please don't say six decades. honestly. six decades. you want to throw me into a bus.

>> decades.

>> say decades.

>> i'm an old-timer.

>> i'm the oldest person at the "today" show. live strong and well, willard.

>> i want my own smuckers jar.

>> all right. i would say that's probably my way of using humor to battle what's obvious. has old become the new fat? here to help us stop focusing on the negative is the editor in chief of "self" magazine. and co-author with lucy of the nine rooms of happiness. welcome, ladies.

>> thank you for having us.

>> we make jokes about our age, we do it a lot and do it for fun and for laughs. but you guys say there's a line between doing it for the laugh and being --

>> exactly. well, you're not old, you're awesome. and when we complain about our wrinkles and, you know, our gray hair, maybe it's also a way of saying i wish i felt better but when you feel great, old is an attitude. i'm just saying it's all about how you feel and maybe it's a signal if you're feeling old or you need to take a little better care of yourself. not you, but some people.

>> everybody could take a little bit better care. look at betty white , she's made old sexy. 91 years old.

>> she has.

>> and we've had people -- we had cher just on who looks awesome. there's something different, i think, now that comes. there's not such a stigma with age, is there?

>> i think we're taking better care of ourselves, living healthier, living longer and it shows. i think that's why you can be older and look younger.

>> sometimes i think when we put ourselves down, i don't think it's because we hate ourselves. i think it's because we're like, oh, you too, i feel fat. it's like a bonding fun thing.

>> that commiserating happens at every age. we saw jennifer lawrence and selena gomes doing it. and all these young people . you can only compare back, you can't compare forward.

>> i think there was a line in a musical that said i don't want to be older, i want to be the old me. it's sort of like that. i want to be that girl --

>> what i want to point out. the opposite of old isn't new or young it's healthy and energetic and your best self at every age and stage. that's what i'm trying to promote.

>> right.

>> i do think it's funny when young, beautiful people complain about their weight or age, it gets annoying. oh, i'm turning 27.

>> smack them.

>> don't you? is that a newer thing that's happening?

>> you're hearing it at younger ages, you know. and i think it is a problem if it's too much. but i think a little bit motivates us to look our best and feel our best. but when you're doing it all the time and that's all you're hearing about, preoccupied with how you look, it's not so good.

>> what's the take away, guys? what do you want --

>> i want people to understand you can't necessarily get a new vehicle, but you can take really good care of the one you've got.

>> get a lube job.

>> careful.

>> get exercising. this is permission to take better care of yourself, you know, like high octane fuel.

>> it's going to benefit everybody around you.

>> you're right.

>> shiny new isn't real. let's be the best we can be.

>> and be kind to yourself. when we talk like this to ourselves, it's not nice.

>> and our kids are listening.

>> some people say it behind people's backs, hoda.

>> why are you looking at me?

>> i know you don't.

>> yes, they do.

>> i don't think old should be bad, i think unhealthy's the opposite. the opposite is not feeling healthy. let's make healthy.

>> all right, lucy. we got it. we got it! .