TODAY

TODAY   |  October 02, 2013

Happy women live better: Here’s how you can

Life coach and author Valorie Burton offers tips for happiness regardless of your circumstances, including planning something to look forward to every day, and choosing experiences with others over buying things.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> all right. who doesn't want to be happy? with the stress of work, kids and relationships, life can get in the way sometimes.

>> a lot of women feel guilty if they can't manage it all and end up shortchanging themselves. how can you get back to being happy?

>> life coach valorie burton , author of her latest book.

>> like it.

>> yes. "happy women live better." you're even cuter than you were last time. stop it!

>> we were talking about -- especially with young kids. some kids are happy kids and some kids just seem to be a little bit darker, bluer. is happiness kind of a genetic thing?

>> it is about 50% of your happiness is genetic. the really good news is that about almost half of it is what you choose to do every day, making those intentional choices.

>> you list a bunch of them.

>> uh-huh.

>> we'll get to that in a second. explain to us the difference between happy and joyful. happy, doesn't it come from the word happenstance? that has something to do with your circumstances.

>> somewhat. happiness really is about what do you do each day? what are the things that bring us happiness ? joy is kind of the outpouring of being happy on an everyday basis and being able to have the sense that no matter what's going on, you still have this positive attitude , this positive belief about your life.

>> when you say you make choices to be happy, i think some people may poo-poo that. they may say i have a dead end job, lot of kids, bills. i'm not choosing this. this has chosen me.

>> you choose your response to what goes on in your life.

>> how you react, you mean?

>> exactly right. i talk about these 13 happiness triggers, intentional choices you can make every day. and some of us have like personal triggers that come very naturally.

>> like what?

>> we have bottom triggers. it depends on you.

>> tell us about a few of the ones in the book.

>> anticipation is a happiness trigger.

>> something to be hopeful about?

>> that's right. having something every single day to look forward to. you create that. it could be curling up with a good book tonight or taking a walk with your spouse or your kids. when you're not feeling that great throughout the day you go, oh, yeah, tonight at 7:00, i'm doing this.

>> that's a good one.

>> this is fun.

>> what's another one?

>> i'm happier right now.

>> connection. the world we live in today is harder and harder to do. you should talk to your friends and family more than you type and text them. stop. don't multitask. take 15 seconds for us to have that conversation.

>> i know. i'll say to kath, call me. i just want to hear your voice.

>> money is a difficult thing but you say live on 70% of what you maple make.

>> aim to live on 70%. it may sound undoable right now.

>> try.

>> make that a goal. living below your means boosts your happiness . also, buying experiences over things. if you're choosing between the tenth bag that you own or going out with friends or taking a trip, creating memories and experiences.

>> you should live in a less affluent neighborhood, because then you don't feel like you have to keep up with the joneses.

>> that thing that makes you comfortable, make s it easier. if the women will go happywomantest.com, you can figure out what the top triggers are and what the bottom triggers are.

>> if someone had her hairdresser, that would make them happy.