TODAY | September 18, 2013
>> well played.
>> thank you so much. that is what is trending today. coming up, we have already seen an actor hugh jackman as well as judge judy is here.
>> there's an article called the 25 things everyone should stop doing.
>> i realized that i'm saying no to myself all the time. sometimes i guess you have to challenge yourself to say yes.
>> as women , we are always apologizing for things we should not be apologizing for.
>> it's kind of just ingrained in me.
>> it's part of my vocabulary.
>> you're saying i'm sorry is supposed to help you correct a wrong. if you use it all the time it's not correcting anything.
>> i feel powerful female in the work place but it's excruciating pain.
>> i feel like i always need to wear heels. i feel i need that extra boost.
>> i hold on to guilt when something is out of my hands and i can't control it.
>> i'm always comparing myself to friends photos on either facebook or instagram.
>> why can't i dress like that?
>> there's a lot of people that get very overwhelmed and unhappy that they're not achieving these things.
>> i need to stop.
>> it's not worth it.
>> well, we have assembled our own group of women for their thoughts. she is an arthur and former super model and she is the author of good enough mother.com and co-host of nbc's "the cycle." was there something on this list that spoke to each of you.
>> more than one. but you apologizing all the time.
>> body snarking. i hate my arms, i hate my hair. i love my hair now but for a long time i didn't.
>> food was the enemy. i had a hard time with that. hi to learn what was good food and what was not. instead of making myself feel miserable for not having something reward myself for eating something good.
>> feeling like an imposture when you accomplish something. so many women feel like they're not as good --
>> does that go away?
>> not that i'm aware of.
>> i do think it goes away. it comes with age. you mature and finally you understand that you have a right to follow your own true north star and that you have a right to be here and what you say matters and what you say is important.
>> let's go through a couple of other ones. the label crazy.
>> i don't get that one.
>> we're all crazy.
>> and who cares if people think you're crazy.
>> that's a way to diminish people.
>> setting deadlines for major life events.
>> we've all done that.
>> i didn't do that.
>> good for you.
>> no, i just think life has always been thrown at me and there's so much different stuff that can come on. you just sort of wing it.
>> but you're 27, right.
>> i'm 27 but everything on this list is not about how we see ourselves it's pleasing everyone else around us. it all goes back to insecurity and inner confidence. the one i like most is comparing our life to everyone else's virtual life. that's too common whether it's pinterest or facebook or twitter.
>> but shame on us for thinking that must be real. who is going to put themselves out there and say this is how i woke up with the curlers in my hair and bags. nobody is going to put that picture.
>> but i have a pressure that i'm supposed to be that person for everyone else. that's tough when you're walking into a room and people think she's not the perfect think i thought she was. it shattered their dreams.
>> this is the list of 23 things women shouldn't do. what's something we should do. women should do.
>> don't lose your compassion. being aggressive and standing on your two feet. i think we can strong without using that warmth that we have as women that we bring to the table that men don't always bring.
>> i think you need to be as good to yourself as everybody else . we are so big about putting our kids first and partners first. what's wrong with saying i want to go first? i want to be good to me.
>> i took it and turned it a little bit. i feel like when we're feeling down. if somebody is watching this and saying i'm not doing any of these things right, when you don't feel good about yourself go out and help somebody or give to somebody else.
>> real quickly, a harris poll asked women what is the perfect age. 50 was the average answer.
>> what do you say?
>> i'm not as naive as i was when i was 20 and moving here will do that to you but i look forward so many more life events. if i can look as good as these two when i'm 50, i think 50 is great.
>> you can gives your suggestions