TODAY

TODAY   |  July 30, 2013

Should guys still open doors for women?

Relationship expert Matthew Hussey tells Kathie Lee and Hoda whether old-school rules of dating, such as men paying for dates and opening doors, still apply today.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

"today" on this booze day tuesday. we are going to answer your relationship questions.

>> a human dynamics coach, and the best selling author of "get the guy." matthew --

>> we love him.

>> i have a cartoon now. i have arrived. you can kill me now because i'm done.

>> let's go with our first question from sara.

>> okay. is a guy not interested in me if he plans a date night, then calls right before to say he also has plans with his friends so can they join?

>> i mean, you know me. i don't often say a guy is just a complete idiot if he does something but that seems strange. when a guy says, i'm going to bring along my friends, or i have plans with my friends, as a woman i think you've either got to say -- if you're going to be laid back and you've got friends with you, say let's all join together. either he will turn out to be a great guy who just slipped up or you're going to realize this guy is an idiot.

>> what should do you? ask him? did you just slip up or are you an idiot?

>> i would say give him the benefit of the doubt that night. get some of your friends together and go out, which by the way, as a woman, you have to have friends as well. make sure you've got friends.

>> and see how he treats you in front of those friends.

>> it is also a good time for you to show off a little bit. the best thing to do with a guy is impress his friends. when it comes to the value we place on people, we don't like to say that when someone else likes them, then i like them too. the truth in life is, if other women are saying that guy's hot, it starts to raise your value of the guy even if you didn't think he was hot before. so be charming with his friends.

>> okay. have a good time.

>> debbie says, i just started dating again after years of marriage and i'm not sure of the rules these days. should i let a man pay for me and open my car door or are those days over?

>> that's a good one.

>> i just did a blog about this on my website howw to get the guy.com. is chivalry dead. first, it's become very confusing for guys because we are in a world now where women are crazy powerful in relation to us and we're trying to figure out where we still matter. the mistake that guys make is they shoot themselves in the foot, they're like well if women want all of this going on, if they want equal pay and the same rights and the same treatment, we'll give it to them in all respects. we won't open the car door , we won't pay the bill. where guys are so stupid is, we've run out of so many ways of impressing women we should be holding on to every way of impressing women we can.

>> yeah.

>> so when it comes to opening the car door , do it because are you immediately going to be different from every other guy.

>> i like him. he's 26 years old. how did you get so wise?

>> guys aren't taught right. this is the problem and they're not taught right by everyone in their world.

>> if someone does not do that for you, can you ever expect that maybe they will at some point or is that just the way they are?

>> yeah, 100% you can. if i'm a guy who's never been conditioned to do those things for a woman, by suddenly meeting a women who teaches me that's her standard, that's her expectation --

>> then you do it.

>> then i'll begin to do it if i really want to impress that person. so as a woman, you have to have the confidence to enforce a certain standard.

>> so just sit in that car until he comes around.

>> here's what you say.

>> you could be there a while.

>> you've got to communicate better as a woman. if you want the guy to open the car door for you, tell him i would love for you to do this for me. if he says that's stupid. every time we get in the car i'm going to walk around to your side and open the car door . yes, you know why? because it will make me feel safe.

>> well now they've got those fobs, you just go --

>> then walk around around open the car door .

>> now i open it for