TODAY

TODAY   |  July 18, 2013

How do you balance ambition with personal life?

Life coaches Valorie Burton, Gabrielle Bernstein and Stefanie Ziev answer viewer questions, seeking to help them resolve personal dilemmas and get on the road to fulfillment and success.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> now to coach me if you can. we've put together a panel of life coaches to help motivate you to get out of the rut and move ahead with your rut.

>> valerie burton is the author of "your five minute personal coach." gabrielle wrote "may cause miracles." and a former exec turned coach.

>> we've got a lot of questions from our viewers. let's get right to it. 33-year-old tiffany submitted this one. she's a business owner in need of a little balance in her life. let's watch.

>> as a female entrepreneur, i find it difficult to balance my ambitious drive with my personal life . how can i continue to aggressively grow my business while staying connected with my loved ones ?

>> let's take that on. what do you think?

>> i think for a lot of young women , they really focus on having a career plan but not a personal life plan, and they're not separate. she wants to i cmake sure her personal life doesn't fall by the wayside, she needs specific action steps. once a week, i have lunch with my sister. every single day, i end up on the phone with my mom or friends. she's got to make it a priority. it's not going to fall into place by itself.

>> how do you do it, vanessa? you've got a busy career, kids, everything.

>> i've got one of those calendars that i write everything. i need to see it, and then i don't stress.

>> you have to make time. let's look at another one here. jean is 57 years old, looking to make a leap back into the work force after time as a stay at home mom .

>> i was an elementary school teacher, and after my son was born, i became a full-time stay at home mom . what advice do you give to former homemakers looking to enter back into the career world?

>> this is a common one. people put all their energy into their kids and the kids leave, and they say, now what?

>> i think it's really important for jean to focus on what she loved about her career before she was a stay at home mom . when she really can focus on all the things that were energizing for her and exciting for her about her career path, she can bring back the confidence she needs to go back out into the work force .

>> what does she say in an interview when she explains what she's been doing for the last 18 years?

>> i think the conversation needs to be what is the job i have and what is the job i'm transitioning into? instead of this big uber i'm entering back into the work force and it's a club i don't belong to. the answer is i belong because i'm transitioning my career. write the job description she currently has as head of her household. what are the skills and talents and department she's managing and create that story when going into a new employer.

>> what about guilt?

>> guilt is huge. i think it's the biggest thing that fills women's happiness. you have to realize that guilt indicates something. it's a message you think you're doing something wrong. she's not doing anything wrong but focusing on her kids or going back into the work force . she has to have a shift in her thinking about what she's doing and get away from the guilt.

>> geraldine is 50 years old, lives in yonkers, new york, with her family.

>> as a mother of three children under 20, i sometimes find it hard to focus on my own health and well-being because i'm putting my children first. how can i make time for myself throughout the day without feeling guilty?

>> that's a really common one.

>> i think that geraldine desperately needs to give herself permission to have one because when you have children taking your time and energy, really all they want is a happy mother. so taking her day to put focus and attention on her well-being will raise her energy and therefore greatly benefit her children.

>> do you agree with that?

>> i do. what are you modeling for your kids? you teach your kids to neglect themselves, you're teaching yoby neglectin g yourself. you need to teach them they are as important as she is to herself.

>> cut right to the important