TODAY

TODAY   |  July 12, 2013

Want your mate in the mood? Do the chores

Steve Ward, CEO of Master Matchmakers” and Tiffanie Henry, a certified sex therapist, explain how getting the household chores done can help get your wife in the mood and discuss when couples in a dating relationship should have sex.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> all right. when it comes to sex, what do men and women really want in the bedroom? is it sexy lingerie or just peace and quiet in your house? whether you are single or in a committed relationship , here with some help to spice up your sex life --

>> oh, really?

>> tiffany henry, she should know. relationship expert and certified sex therapist and steve ward of master matchmakers.

>> let's start with the single ladies. let's get them done with early. people always wonder how many dates should i wait until i decide to get intimate with the guy.

>> marriage.

>> well, minus that part.

>> i think it depends on what you want out of the relationship. certainly in you want a more commitmented long-term relationship then you wait a little bit longer. what you have is what you are committed to. if you just want a really good time and great sex, go for it. but if you want a relationship, you have to work on it and you have to get that emotional connection going first.

>> how long do you think you should wait? how many dates would you appreciate.

>> it depends on how much knowledge has been gained from each other. see, i think it's almost like an acid test. communication, respect, trust. as soon as you have established all three of those key components, then i think it's safe to take the clothes off.

>> but in today's world, don't you have to go through an awful lot of stuff before you get to that point? you know you do. have you been tested? show me your results. it's weird. it's not very romantic.

>> you think people do that?

>> i think they need to, but they don't is what i think.

>> they don't, which is why i suggest using protection.

>> exactly.

>> let's talk about married couples . and couples are always curious about how often other couples are having sex . it says the average couple has sex once a week.

>> for sure.

>> is that right?

>> that's actually true. the average american married coup cell having sex once a week. most folks are coming in and saying we're not having a lot of sex. when i ask them, oh, about three to four times a month. and that's about once a week. so that's average.

>> are the women --

>> men want it more and women tend to prioritize other things.

>> when you have kids and stuff it changes the whole equation.

>> i think it -- that's the problem. you only have so much time in a day. you have careers and kids and you have chores and bills. all these things you have to worry about. sometimes getting a little freaky isn't on the top of your priority list.

>> freaky?

>> the culture and world we live in makes it think like there's nothing but sex. that's just not the truth.

>> let's talk about ideas so people can have more intimacy. why there are gloves there.

>> there's laundry here, cleaning supplies. what it has to do is the sexiest thing that i find when i walk in the house and my husband is cooking dinner, the laundry is done, he's cleaned the house. i have -- i have a lot more energy for sex.

>> of course you do.

>> exactly.

>> archie and edith bunker but not for the average american couple.

>> what do you think works?

>> i guess maybe when you get a little older, but not for younger couples.

>> how old do you think i am, sir.

>> i happen to think there are other things that will get --

>> such as --

>> comfortability. the fact is you can't be rushed. you can't feel like you are just squeezing it in. you can't feel like you have to find the time for it. you need something that's comfortable. so i think the most important thing as far as men are concerned and i'm really talking to the men out there is make sure your partner is very comfortable. that they are at ease. they aren't rushed or hurried. there's a lot of things you can do to make sure they're comfortable in bed.

>> sex foreplay actually starts outside of the bedroom.

>> they call that foreplay.

>> we have to run but you think somehow painting someone with chocolate works?

>> oh, for sure. i say that chocolate is like wine. you don't want to buy wine that you don't cook with. you don't want to buy chocolate that you wouldn't want to eat and play with. melt it. put it on your body and lick it off.

>> isn't that counterintuitive. clean up, clean up and then let's make a big mess.

>> if he's cleaning up, i don't see a problem with that.

>> they don't want chocolates and oils and all that.

>> what do they want?

>> men want -- well, men want the woman to enjoy the experience. most importantly.

>> what if she wants some chocolate?

>> i have never once in a life met a woman who wants to be covered in chocolate while having sex . i've never met one person.

>> she wants you to lick it off.

>> we didn't say it needed