TODAY   |  June 20, 2013

Stay-at-home mom: I regret not working

A recent blog post by Lisa Heffernan detailing why she regrets having been a stay-at-home mom is getting a lot of attention. Heffernan talks to TODAY’s Matt Lauer about leaving her banking job to raise her three children, advising moms to “keep a pilot light under your professional lives.”

Share This:

This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> to having kid, many women struggle with the decision to stay home or continue to, would. lisa heffernan decided to leave her high-powered banking job when she was expecting her third son. now nearly 20 years later, she writes in the " huffington post " she regrets being a stay at home mom . she writes i use my driver's license far more than my degrees. good morning to you.

>> good morning, savannah.

>> you give the top ten reasons you regret being a stay at home word.

>> perhaps misgivings might be a better word. i don't think there's any mom that regrets time she spent with her kids.

>> you were working in banking, you had a high-powered job, the first couple of kids you did both.

>> i did both. two parents two kids, two lives helplessly out of control and i left the workplace when i was facing my third child. it's pretty classic.

>> let's go through some of the runs cite. you say my world narrowed. what do you mean by that?

>> you know, when glart workplace, full-time workplace, as you are, you are working with men, working with women, people older than you, people younger than you, people with all sorts of backgrounds. when you leave the full-time workplace and become a stay-at-home mom, you begin to live in a world of women your own age with kids the same ages as your kids and your experiences really narrow the range of people you deal with narrows.

>> another run cite, i worried more. you mean you were kind of a hovering parent?

>> i pretty much strapped on my helicopter blades and hovered over my kids. i think that parents who work, triage, they figure out what's most important in their kids' lives because their lives are full we are more distractions, they triage and focus own the most important things. as a stay-at-home mom, i was allowed to focus on my kids i think probably almost excessively.

>> this is an extremely personal decision.

>> absolutely.

>> let me take the flip side of it you have three boys grown up wonderfullism don't you owe that in large part how much you invested in them in terms of their time?

>> i do. working moms have kids who grow up just as wonderfully, not a question of working or not working. i didn't stay home because i felt my kids needed me. i wanted to be with them. i felt the experience was fleeting, years kids were very short. never get to wiped back that tape and have them small again. like every mom, i love my kids. i think they are the greatest people in the world and i got to spend those years with the three people i love most in the world along with my husband.

>> do you wish you worked part time ?

>> i do i think this is the ideal thing. why i wrote the piece, the reflection i would make for moms is keep a toe in the water, keep a finger in the water. i best say perhaps keep a pilot light under your professional life. if you keep that pilot light going, transition back into work is aided.

>> what do you do the boys think about the article?

>> they are okay with t

>> lisa hefr nan it is thought provoking. thank you.

>> thank you.