TODAY   |  June 19, 2013

How to be a grown-up: ‘Adulting’ tips

Being in your 20s may seem like a carefree time, but for many millennials, becoming an adult can be stressful. Kelly Williams Brown, author of “Adulting,” and psychiatrist Dr. Janet Taylor share their tips for how to become a grown-up.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> all i'm asking for is $1,100 a month for the next two years.

>> that's insane.

>> my circumstances change and i can no longer afford to work for free.

>> when you get hungry enough you're going to figure it out.

>> you mean like physically hungry or hungry for the job?

>> that's of course the hbo series show "girls" where being 20 something is not always about partying.

>> becoming a responsible adult sort of comes out of nowhere and can be quite stressful. what are some of the secrets to coping, kelly williams brown is the author of adulting. how to become a grown up in 468 easy-ish steps. good morning.

>> you're 28 years old and you have been an adult now for at least almost a decade.

>> yeah, once you're buying your own toilet paper that's the point at which you are officially an adult.

>> you coin this term adulting. what is that?

>> i don't think of adult as something you either are or aren't. being a grown-up is a process. it's a verb. it's something you can do every day. it's the small choices you can make.

>> is this unique though? i think we were talking before a lot of us had these same feelings at 21 or 22 years old coming out of school. this is particular to your group or is this universal.

>> i don't think it's particular. i think it's hard for everyone to grow up. i think the process of going from someone whose needs are taken care of who doesn't have to make their own way in the world to someone who does is a tricky thing no matter when you're growing up.

>> and janet, you're the mother of four yourself so you know all about the growing up process. what anxieties and stresses do you think they are having at this age.

>> they have the highest stress of any age level and part of that is because we don't dodgers think of an adult, when you take an approach to love and finances and work and so many can't afford their own place to live and they can't take that step that launches them into adult hood so they can't afford it and it creates anxiety.

>> your book is 468 steps. the great recession has been tough on people so a lot of them turning to internships. you say don't be that intern. who exactly is that intern.

>> for the record, i have, i'm sorry to say, been that intern. that intern is the one who reveals inappropriately appropriate details in the place work. the person who really gets maybe too tipsy at work functions, the person who doesn't distinguish between what is acceptable behavior in college and what is acceptable behavior in the work place.

>> be a professional.

>> you also say, i think we have seen over the years they suffered a lot of negative stereotypes. the idea of you all being self-indulgent and feeling like things are owed to you.

>> you know, i don't think that -- i think young people in general can be a little bit self-indulgent and self-obsessed. i don't think that's special but i think what everyone in the world needs to realize when you're starting from the beginning is you are not a special snow flake . no, stop, you are to some people. your parents love you. your friends love you and your teachers love you but the world at large doesn't care about you.

>> you're one of many snow flakes.

>> right. janet has a knowing smile over here.

>> yes, i have contributed to my kids thinking they're a special snow flake until they ask for rent money or tell me they don't like to go to work. we have to take responsibility.

>> another one of your tips, office small talk . you have drawn a bell curve to show us what's appropriate.

>> there's a bell curve to all small talk . let's face it, no one wants to be in the same conversation forever. no one wants to grow old talking about the weather. when you realize that momentum has peaked and you're getting into that, oh, yeah, that thing kind of stage, that's when you need to wrap it up. it feels awkward but it's not that complicated. you just finish with a final sounding statement. it's been so great to talk to you. i hope our paths cross again.

>> really quickly you say imagine rude people as jelly fish .

>> what do you mean by that?

>> one of my blog readers on my tumbler which is adulting jelly fish do not respond to reason. they will ruin your day. they will say that mean thing so when you encounter one of these jelly fish like people in your daily life who are floating around stinging people. all you can do