TODAY   |  May 30, 2013

Are women difficult to understand?

A panel of women comprising gynecologist Evelyn Minaya, former newscaster Carole Sullivan, author Denene Millner, and chef and author Daisy Martinez break down relationship issues from why men and women cheat to what it takes to understand women.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> on "today's" relationships, why do men and women cheat? and are women really that difficult to understand? those are some of the complicated questions when it comes to relationships. here to help us sort it all out, we have a panel of lovely ladies, an obgyn practicing in new jersey, carolyn sullivan, mother of three, a best-selling author and editor of, and a chef and cookbook author. good morning to all of you.

>> good morning.

>> we've got a lot to talk about. first, let's start with this idea that women are so difficult to understand. i mean, really. come on. is that true? nebraska state senator said in an interview that women , no one understands them. don't even understand themselves, books and books and books have been written about it and no one understands it. fortunately he's now happily married, he was a bachelor for 47 years, he married his lovely wife lauren. so he finally met his match and i'm sure he understands her a lot more. he seems to think women are difficult to understand. what do you think?

>> i think george carlin said it best. he said this is a much -- you have to know about men and women . women are crazy and men are stupid. and the reason that women are crazy is because men are stupid.

>> i agree. that settles that one. do we move on?

>> men are from mars --

>> women are from venus.

>> they're on a different planet altogether. don't try to understand us because we're not going to be understood.

>> really?

>> i think if you can't get it, you're really not trying very hard. i mean, you're just as complicated as we are.

>> are men really complicated?

>> no.

>> i do think that. i think men are straightforward but really they have little things that you would think, oh, my gosh -- i think that just affected them. and you're like, how did that happen?

>> i do.

>> they use it as an excuse to not chip in. i really do.

>> i'm with you.

>> i didn't know that the garbage didn't need to be taken out.

>> yeah.

>> come on.

>> do you think we have more emotional complexities, though? we tend to maybe not say what we mean all the time?

>> that's part of our charm, though, don't you think?

>> i agree. i agree. i believe in keeping the mystery there and making them guess a little bit. make them work.

>> absolutely.

>> i've been with you ladies for about 15 minutes , there's no mystery with you guys. who are you kidding?

>> you know what? because there is no thinking. we all understand each other, we know what our jobs are. and how many times are you going to repeat yourself? okay, you took out the garbage. yesterday you took out the garbage, today you don't take out the garbage? of course you do. yada, yada, yada, enough already.

>> the topic is cheating. a licensed psychotherapist conducted research and suggests the reason that men and women cheat is different. men cheat because they seek approval. women cheat because they want attention. do you all agree with that notion?

>> i think that today with all the celebrity stuff going on and people -- it's become common place. cheating is not even -- there's no scarlet letter anymore. but i --

>> you don't think so? according to a gallup poll , 90% of adults found that extramarital affairs were wrong.

>> really?

>> yeah.

>> how many celebrities have had extramarital affairs , their careers haven't suffered, marriages haven't suffered. we have somebody running for office leaps and bounds might be the mayor -- the next mayor of new york city . nobody cares anymore. everybody has a short memory.

>> i think that people tend to put celebrities in a different category, though.

>> right.

>> if your neighbor or in our case a couple people that we know are going through some serious issues because of cheating, i don't think that people are as easily forgiving their neighbors or regular people .

>> they judge them. people are very judgmental.

>> especially if it's the woman who cheated.

>> i agree.

>> and it seems like we get married later and seems like, look, you had your time, so you had your time to date. once you make that commitment you're either all in -- and it also -- once you learn there's cheating now it seems like you have a choice to get out, you need to make a decision. and that's hard for women too. am i going to see my kid 50% of the time?

>> that's a mitigating factor. women making decisions. infidelity in the marriage. do i leave or do i stay?

>> right.

>> if you have kids, chances are you're going to work towards, you know, saving the relationship. whereas if there's no children, chances are you say mucho gusto. see ya later.

>> all right, ladies, great to have you all. a good panel.