TODAY | May 24, 2013
>>> hi, everybody, it's try-day friday, it's may 24th and i'm grossing out hoda with all of my allergy and phlegm problems so, i apologize ahead of time. but if something squirts out, you've been duly warned.
>> the allergies are going crazy. i inhaled a bunch of pollen in central park . i wanted to take a brush --
>> and when you rub your eyes, your contact lenses come out.
>> but this memorial day weekend .
>> and hopefully you'll have some nice weather this weekend. you're going off to rehoboth.
>> my sister who is in from dubai, my brother, his wife and their kids are going to my mom's place in delaware.
>> and blake ?
>> no blake , blake is not feeling great. he can't come.
>> you're leaving your sick child already?
>> no, he can't take the car ride. it would be gross, picture.
>> no, picture you staying home to take care of your child .
>> and everybody comes up to see you because you've got a sick baby.
>> no, we're all going to the beach.
>> there's the difference, ladies and gentlemen , between the two of us, you've seen it up front.
>> so we heard that americans travel every memorial day . you don't travel, do you?
>> i used to, we used to go to nantucket when we had a place there. now you know you're an old fart when you don't want to go anywhere. you like to watch boats go by. you don't want to get on one. you like to see trains going by, you have no interest getting on one. you like to look at the sky and see the planes go and all you want to do is sit in your rocking chair and drink. that's all you want to do and you're happy. which i highly recommend dotage, i really do.
>> what's dotage, don'ti idoting around.
>> is that a word?
>> sara, will you google dotage.
>> i'm googling it right now.
>> a lot of people are getting married.
>> it's going to be so beautiful.
>> there's another woman getting married. her name is andrea faith bryant and she's a facebook friend of ours. she asked for a little help in finding a wedding song for her wedding.
>> are you trying to sneak in another i-hoda?
>> she wanted something upbeat. i had to pick the best love song ever written. so i know it's not upbeat and bouncy, andrea, but --
>> it is "someone like you" by van morrison .
stop it right now.
>> we've been telling you about sometimes people in public out at restaurants, they change their children's diapers.
>> because sometimes the bathrooms don't have a diaper-changing table. that happened to a couple in denver, they went into a starbucks in the bathroom. they put the child down on the chair, they started doing the changing and when the starbucks employee walks over and looks at them and throws a rag to them and says clean it up. the people are offended.
>> the dad took umbrage.
>> he took his coffee and turned it upside-down on the floor.
>> the cops were called. because that's what happens. anyway, we don't think any charges were filed. but there is the question of what do you do when you want to change a child 's diaper and you go into public rest rooms that don't have that.
>> and you don't want to put your children on the floor.
>> starbucks are very big on customer service , they're looking into the problem and are perhaps going to try to --
>> what would you do if you were in that situation?
>> take your child to your car?
>> leave the kid at home with a fever. like you always do.
>> in a crate.
>> no, just kidding. anyway, that's one of those things.
>> it's a tough one. i think ultimately, always the child , whatever serves the child should be ultimately. i would have gone to the person and i said, do you, i think at starbucks , and said i desperately got to change my child 's diaper. do you have something i can put on the floor.
>> and they say no, i don't.
>> then you do it anyway.
>> our producer was talking about taking a chair with you into the bathroom stall and changing the child on the chair. so no one could see it. and then you take the nasty chair and turn it to the wall.
>> neither of these are good things. you know what's annoying me? everything we've talked about so far. we have ben aaron, a guy who you're probably going to be seeing a little bit more around here. he's "new york live" host of "life according to ben ."
>> let's watch the tape.
>> one of my biggest set pieces in the world is when somebody is loud on the phone in the elevator, so right now i'm going to be that guy. hi, mommy, can you do me a favor? can you leave my razor out? i want to shave my armpits. oh, john, what's up? what are you doing, man. bring chips and dip, chips and dip. no, you're pookey. you're a pookey. give did to me, baby, yeah, yeah. give it to me, baby, don't stop, don't stop.
>> your face is like a cloud of desire.
>> do you want to play football tomorrow? i'll bring the ball, you bring the foot.
>> i'll be home like 5:00, like 5:30, i don't know. it depends on how much work i have, and then i'll shave your armpits.
>> that is annoying.
>> in light of memorial day , which i love, but it's one of the most annoying holidays. everybody travels. i wanted to see if i would get punched. i didn't get punched, which is amazing.
>> most people seem to put up with your annoying habits.
>> what did they say? did anyone say anything to you?
>> they said nothing.
>> even when they got off the eleva elevator.
>> it's like, it's new york and he's odd and strange, that's okay with us.
>> how often are you going to annoy us?
>> it's going to be a surprise i could sneak up on you at any time.
>> welcome to the zoo , ben , all the best to you.
>> thank you.
>>> you want to stick around for this what time is it hoda?
>> it's time for her friday funnies.
>> three ladies go out for girls' night out. they're having a great time, excuse me. they're drinking, they're dancing, they're partying like crazy. on the way home in the car, two of the girls say they have to go to the bathroom. so they're passing a cemetery and the driver stops the car for them in front of the cemetery and tells the girls, go in the cemetery, okay? nobody's there, whoever is there ain't going to mind. after much protesting from the girls, they do. as they are relieving themselves, one girl asks the other, what are we going to use for -- it's from the facebook fans.
>> i'm drinking.
>> what are you going to use for -- toilet paper and one girl says, i'm going to use my underwear.
>> this is never going to end.
>> the other girl says no way and she rip as red ribbon off a floral arrangement nearby and uses that. the next day their husbands meet on the street and one says to the other, the girls' night out has got to stop. my wife came home last night with no underwear. and the other guy said that's not so bad, my wife came home with a sticker on her butt that says, we will never forget you.
>> all right. kids, it's time for our bobbie's buzz!
>> wow, wow, hoda!
>> are we ready for this?
>> all right.
>> bye, ben !
>> gotta go.
>> so is memorial day weekend and i was inspired. and some of the cool finds i've come across, united scents of america. two girls teemed up in the fragrance industry to create a scent for your state. so there are different states, ten so far, they're going to be rolling out. i stopped to think, what does your state smell like. well, new york --
>> it depends where you are.
>> new york is the big apple .
>> you like florida?
>> i like california, too.
>> and so another --
>> florida is good.
>> another find that is clever, memorial day weekend . check out these, these are not just bangles. they are bottle-opener bangles.
>> no way!
>> ooh-la-la --
>> isn't that so cute?
>> this wine company makes their wine with bottle cap the like beer.
>> as opposed to corks.
>> so you can just pop over your wine.
>> very clever.
>> so classy.
>> these are by breezy new york . and last but not least with all the name art that i know you hate so much.
>> i do, i do.
>> there's a new trend coming up. it's minimalism and white nails like mine, you'll see right here with a ton of other companies coming out with white. the new, cool stark thing to do.
>> thank you.
>> are you excited?
>> i'm so excited.
>> one week from today, missy!
>> i can't believe you're letting me bring like 100 people to your house.
>> we'll talk about that.
>> we turn it over to our favorite girl --
>> time for today's johnson 's baby announcement when we celebrate new moms and their adorable new additions to their families. first up, meet adorable deegan, six pounds, 12.5 ounces came into the world on april 16th . his parents give some words of wisdom to love your baby unconditionally and everything else will fall a into place. next up, sweet little waverly, in hinten, iowa, on march 23rd , joins a loving family of so many generations that she's actually a great great granddaughter. our third today's johnson 's baby of the week is cullen born on april 8th in fargo,ed in in. he's welcomed into the world by brother ian. enjoy snuggling while you can, because they grow up way too fast. if you want a chance for your baby to appear in today's johnson 's baby of the week. go to klgandhoda.com for details.