TODAY

TODAY   |  May 08, 2013

Show your man you love him (without sex)

Matthew Hussey, dating expert and author of “Get The Guy,” suggests demonstrating affection by giving your significant other small compliments or asking him to teach you a new skill.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> they say women are hard to figure out, but most of the time you just have no clue what your man is really thinking.

>> we're going to get to the bottom of all your burning relationship questions. matth matthew huss is the author of get the gheit." he's here with the other view.

>> i came back.

>> of course you did.

>> like a bad penny , baby.

>> you can't get enough of us.

>>> the first question is from brandy. how do we show our husbands they are truly and don't say sex. think outside the box .

>> easy. let's step outside of sex for a moment. the guy gets home from work, and you give him a massive hug, tell him you missed him so much. or you get home from work and say i missed you so much. the guy feels appreciated and it's affection as well.

>> it's the little things .

>> another one is tell him to teach you something. one of the sexiest things is teach me, even if it was about some part of his work that you've never asked before.

>> i told frank how he looked this morning. he stopped and said, really?

>> women forget that guys don't get told their handsome very often. they're not used to it. a woman is used to being told she's beautiful. men are not used to that.

>> brad pitt is, people like that. george clooney , matthew hussy.

>> how many people are married to brad pitt ?

>> nobody right now.

>> but isn't it good to compliment him in front of someone else . say my husband did the nicest thing today.

>> let me tell you how to appreciate a man. you're at the dinner table and back him up on something.

>> even if you don't agree?

>> listen, loyalty is important.

>> so is honesty.

>> well, c'mon now.

>> you c'mon now.

>> honesty is another way people say i speak my mind . and you go, no, you're really rude.

>>> next question is from amanda -- my boyfriend is not communicating when we're apart. how do i tell him i want him to text or call more without sounding needy.

>> it's amazingly common. we have different rules about how we fuel loved. is it insecurity?

>> no the always. my rule might be that my standard for a relationship is i have to see someone four times a week. that doesn't make me needy. it's my standard is different for the person who wants to see their partner once a week.

>> then we've all been in situations like that. what do you do? who compromises?

>> firstly, you have to communicate what your rules are to your guy. this is how i feel loved. i know it's different to how i feel loved, because how you feel loved, you come home and you jump me.

>> the kinky stuff.

>> they said stay away from sex in the first question.

>> yes, it's no fun if you continue that way.

>> he might feel loved completely differently when you ask advice, or when you say i miss you. you have to tell your formula.

>> don't expect something if you haven't made it known it's something you need.

>> precisely.

>> that was genius what you said. you are the expert.

>>> i had a baby three months ago, my husband is finding me attractive and wanting to be intimate. i don't feel sexy at all. how do i explain that i'm not there mentally.

>> let's go back to the concept of people have a way of feeling loved. he's in this moment, still looking to be the hero in this relationship. just because a baby has come along, he still will be a man with the same needs as three months ago.

>> it's lovely he finds her so attractive.

>> i think it's lovely. firstly, she has the ability to still feel attractive. she has the ability to still feel turned on, but she has to communicate how that is.

>> she's hormonal, and she's lactating, trust me.

>> even if she's in a different place, she has to recognize the whole relationship hasn't shifted.

>> you haven't lactated before.

>> how do you know? don't stereotype me. when i come on the show -- every time.

>> hussy. what will we do with you?

>> what wouldn't we do with you?

>> thank you, honey.