TODAY

TODAY   |  April 12, 2013

Guys dish on how to keep the relationship ‘fire’ burning

Our Guys Tell All Panel of Rick Younger, Dan Bova, Ryan Chenevert and Matthew Hussey tell how you can keep the fire burning in your relationship and why men often feel jealous when a new baby is born.

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This content comes from Closed Captioning that was broadcast along with this program.

>>> it's that time when our guys tell all the panel answers your burning questions about relationships.

>> our first panel member is matthew on "ready for love" author of "get the guy."

>> and we have our pal, comedian and actor, rick younger, married with a son and also dan bove, the editor of "maxim" magazine, married with two kids.

>> and the single "cosmo" bachelor of the year, ryan shenevear.

>> it's an interesting mix of people, we're a little bit nervous.

>> all right. let's go across the street for the first question.

>> li, i'm christina from orlando. my husband and i don't get to spend much time together due to our crazy work schedule. what are some suggestions we can do to make the time we have more special?

>> all right. how can they spend what little time they have?

>> and i think you need to make a schedule of special events. like pick days that might be like date nights or even you know --

>> you do that? you have a big schedule.

>> yes, yes.

>> do you?

>> yes.

>> i haven't seen aid anything yet. perfect example, this past weekend we decided we're going to go see a play. my mother was in town. we kept the kid at home and we went to see a wonderful play.

>> matthew, what do you think?

>> it's about the intensity, not the amount of it you have. it's like when you go home for christmas and you have a few days with each other and you do more than you would ever do in a normal year with people. you maximize it.

>> let's go to our facebook post. how can you keep the fire alive in your relationship? is it my responsibility to keep it interesting?

>> yes.

>> absolutely.

>> what do you think?

>> well, here's what every woman in america should do today. go out and buy two water guns. load it, put it on the counterfor whenever your man gets home with a note that says come find me. and go and hide. game on.

>> you better hope he wants to find you.

>> you'll be in the closet, waiting forever.

>> what does bova think?

>> i think love and sex is like tennis, you need two people going at it, whacking those balls, working themselves into a lather.

>> they both said whoa, they've been been reading "cosmo" too much.

our next question? let's go.

>> hi, i'm paula from cincinnati. and with mother 's day coming up, how can i get my husband and my two kids to do something special for me?

>> keep reminding them that mother 's day is coming up between now and mother 's day. you know, mother 's day is coming up. hey, you know, i'm a mother .

>> maybe then he'll send a present to his mother .

>> my father used to say look, that's your mother . that ain't my mother .

>> let's go on to our facebook post from danielle. we just had a baby. why does it seem my husband is jealous of the attention i show the baby?

>> because he is.

>> biologically when a child comes into that whole environment, we feel like he's violating our space. we, you know, we try not to show the jealousy. but it's there.

>> it's like the guy wants to feel masculine all the time and he's been the hero in the relationship for however long and all of a sudden he's not the heife hero in the same way any more because there's a vacuum of attention.

>> do you think the husband should be the priority for the wife?

>> even while the child is an infant?

>> should the marriage come first?

>> when you have a small child, it should be a team effort. but i think the relationship is, the child sprung from the relationship, so you have to make sure that the relationship --

>> you both have to stay --

>> the guy, his ability to provide relies on him feeling like a man. so the ideal situation is we have this baby, but we're a team contributing here. you've got make him feel good about it.

>> what does dan bova think?

>> i liken the baby to you're at the school -- there's balls involved -- no. you're at the school dance and some little creep just cut in between you and your lady. and now is attached his face to your lady's bosom. so --

>> it can be annoying.

>> think about that.

>> we're jealous that it's cute that the baby can do the buck-naked run-through, but we can't.

>> me and my son are very tight.

>> but an infant needs urgent attention.

>> i'm old enough --

>> the jealousy is there, but as an adult you have to be like, you know what, this is what i'm feeling, but i love this child and i love you. and let's do this together.

>> let's go back across the street to another question.

>> hi, my name is sharon from kingston, we're going on vacation in a couple of weeks and we have limited time and we like to do different activities. can you give me a suggestion on how to reach a compromise?

>> you tell him it turns you on when he does your activity.

>> there's something in it for everybody.

>> women often use the wrong language with men. they say it would be so nice if we could do this together. nice doesn't work for them. i had a woman say to me when i was trying on clothes. and we went out and i was trying on a sweater, and she said, it really turns me on when you try on clothes and so i never stopped trying on clothes.

>> but when you try on clothes, it takes me to poughkeepsie.

>> now you're in. you are in.

>> glad you were listening.

>> i was listening. guys listen.

>> here's a facebook post. what's the best way to initiate a conversation about an issue with a significant other without starting an argument?

>> we need to talk about -- something.

>> whenever you hear those words -- oh.

>> you know what's wrong with you?

>> here's what you don't do, you don't do it in a time when there's already tension or when you're already arguing. do it in a time when there's zero tension.

>> oh.

>> britney . britney .

>> britney --

>> all right.

>> it's almost -- go, i get it, i get it. you called me out.

>> that's why he's the bachelor.