TODAY | April 12, 2013
>>> it's that time when our guys tell all the panel answers your burning questions about relationships.
>> our first panel member is matthew on "ready for love" author of "get the guy."
>> and we have our pal, comedian and actor, rick younger, married with a son and also dan bove, the editor of "maxim" magazine, married with two kids.
>> and the single "cosmo" bachelor of the year, ryan shenevear.
>> it's an interesting mix of people, we're a little bit nervous.
>> all right. let's go across the street for the first question.
>> li, i'm christina from orlando. my husband and i don't get to spend much time together due to our crazy work schedule. what are some suggestions we can do to make the time we have more special?
>> all right. how can they spend what little time they have?
>> and i think you need to make a schedule of special events. like pick days that might be like date nights or even you know --
>> you do that? you have a big schedule.
>> yes, yes.
>> do you?
>> i haven't seen aid anything yet. perfect example, this past weekend we decided we're going to go see a play. my mother was in town. we kept the kid at home and we went to see a wonderful play.
>> matthew, what do you think?
>> it's about the intensity, not the amount of it you have. it's like when you go home for christmas and you have a few days with each other and you do more than you would ever do in a normal year with people. you maximize it.
>> let's go to our facebook post. how can you keep the fire alive in your relationship? is it my responsibility to keep it interesting?
>> what do you think?
>> well, here's what every woman in america should do today. go out and buy two water guns. load it, put it on the counterfor whenever your man gets home with a note that says come find me. and go and hide. game on.
>> you better hope he wants to find you.
>> you'll be in the closet, waiting forever.
>> what does bova think?
>> i think love and sex is like tennis, you need two people going at it, whacking those balls, working themselves into a lather.
>> they both said whoa, they've been been reading "cosmo" too much.
our next question? let's go.
>> hi, i'm paula from cincinnati. and with mother 's day coming up, how can i get my husband and my two kids to do something special for me?
>> keep reminding them that mother 's day is coming up between now and mother 's day. you know, mother 's day is coming up. hey, you know, i'm a mother .
>> maybe then he'll send a present to his mother .
>> my father used to say look, that's your mother . that ain't my mother .
>> let's go on to our facebook post from danielle. we just had a baby. why does it seem my husband is jealous of the attention i show the baby?
>> because he is.
>> biologically when a child comes into that whole environment, we feel like he's violating our space. we, you know, we try not to show the jealousy. but it's there.
>> it's like the guy wants to feel masculine all the time and he's been the hero in the relationship for however long and all of a sudden he's not the heife hero in the same way any more because there's a vacuum of attention.
>> do you think the husband should be the priority for the wife?
>> even while the child is an infant?
>> should the marriage come first?
>> when you have a small child, it should be a team effort. but i think the relationship is, the child sprung from the relationship, so you have to make sure that the relationship --
>> you both have to stay --
>> the guy, his ability to provide relies on him feeling like a man. so the ideal situation is we have this baby, but we're a team contributing here. you've got make him feel good about it.
>> what does dan bova think?
>> i liken the baby to you're at the school -- there's balls involved -- no. you're at the school dance and some little creep just cut in between you and your lady. and now is attached his face to your lady's bosom. so --
>> it can be annoying.
>> think about that.
>> we're jealous that it's cute that the baby can do the buck-naked run-through, but we can't.
>> me and my son are very tight.
>> but an infant needs urgent attention.
>> i'm old enough --
>> the jealousy is there, but as an adult you have to be like, you know what, this is what i'm feeling, but i love this child and i love you. and let's do this together.
>> let's go back across the street to another question.
>> hi, my name is sharon from kingston, we're going on vacation in a couple of weeks and we have limited time and we like to do different activities. can you give me a suggestion on how to reach a compromise?
>> you tell him it turns you on when he does your activity.
>> there's something in it for everybody.
>> women often use the wrong language with men. they say it would be so nice if we could do this together. nice doesn't work for them. i had a woman say to me when i was trying on clothes. and we went out and i was trying on a sweater, and she said, it really turns me on when you try on clothes and so i never stopped trying on clothes.
>> but when you try on clothes, it takes me to poughkeepsie.
>> now you're in. you are in.
>> glad you were listening.
>> i was listening. guys listen.
>> here's a facebook post. what's the best way to initiate a conversation about an issue with a significant other without starting an argument?
>> we need to talk about -- something.
>> whenever you hear those words -- oh.
>> you know what's wrong with you?
>> here's what you don't do, you don't do it in a time when there's already tension or when you're already arguing. do it in a time when there's zero tension.
>> britney . britney .
>> britney --
>> all right.
>> it's almost -- go, i get it, i get it. you called me out.
>> that's why he's the bachelor.