TODAY

TODAY   |  April 08, 2013

Dating expert: Don’t play hard to get

Relationship expert Matthew Hussey, who is one of the dating coaches on the NBC show “Ready for Love,” says that for women to get the guy, they need to stop playing hard to get and realize it’s OK to make the first move.

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>>> girls, admit it, we've all sat by the phone at one point or another waiting for a call or a text after the date.

>> you might have given up thinking all the good guys are taken. here some advice on how to find mr. right is relationship expert matthew huffy.

>> he's a dating coach on the new nbc show, "ready for love" and the author of "get the guy" define the man you want and the love you deserve.

>> wow.

>> are you sure you can do that?

>> yes.

>> have you had a lot of success?

>> i've spent the last five years coaching women and my company, get the guy. and i've coached 50,000 of them in seminars now.

>> i bet they all want you. what do you say when they get all love puppy?

>> i keep those parts of my life really separate.

>> now what do you do if women say this and i've heard this a lot and felt this, that. there are no great guys here. i --

>> i've been through them all.

>> that's gross.

>> i was not thinking that at all.

>> you know, you've tested the waters and there's nothing swimming.

>> i'm actually going around the country right now doing these, get the guy seminars and as i do, there's always a question i ask at the beginning, i say to the women in the room, how many guys do you meet in an average week? now most women think they're meeting guys, but when they answer the question honestly, they're between zero and kwun. and 90% of them are at zero. the question is not where do i go, it's how do i actually meet guys in my everyday life .

>> how do you?

>> stop playing hard to get. it doesn't work. it's been touted that something that works, but it's like dangling the string in front of the cat. the cat goes crazy and you drop the string and the cat goes, oh, it's a string.

>> what you have to do?

>> are men that shallow?

>> here's what has to happen. women think they can't make the first move and they can. women can be completely proactive, they have to do it in a way that goes under the radar.

>> that's classy?

>> women think i'm old fashioned, i don't make the move. women have been making the move for centuries. 100 years ago, a woman walked past a guy she was attracted to and drops her handkerchief, and the guy picks it up and goes over to her and says, ma'am, you dropped this.

>> that only happens in england.

>> in that moment the guy is thinking, oh, wow, look at me, how great i am, i just made the move. he didn't make the move, she chose him.

>> what's today's equivalent of that.

>> i'll give you right now.

>> this is beautiful and elegant. it's asking a favor. there are eight words you can say to a guy, that immediately create attraction.

>> and they are, say it in your best english accent .

>> you say, i could really use your help with something.

>> i bet you could.

>> now --

>> that's a good one.

>> because it appeals to that manualliness.

>> it appeals to his provide and protect side. where he says --

>> you say, i need your help with something and he goes, anything. anything you want, i'll do for you right now.

>> unless he was a jerk and you would find out right now.

>> and then you run.

>> brilliant, isn't it?

>> what do you ask for help for.

>> let's say you're in a bar and you say, i could really use your help with something, can you hold my jacket for me while i give these drinks to my friends. you give your drinks to your friends, you come back, you take your jacket and you say thank you so much, how is your night going, anyway?

>> well, the huffy man.

>> it's about finding, attracting and keeping.

>> you come back and tell us how to keep.

>> tomorrow your bad beauty habits.

>> we don't have any!

>> how to get a better night's sleep.

>> yeah, right.