TODAY | January 28, 2013
>> cissy houston 's new book is
called "remembering whitney: a mother's story of life, loss and the night the music stopped." i see you smile when you look at those images.
>> i have a lot of smiles for her. she's great.
>> so many people loved your daughter from afar. but she was your little girl .
>> not as much as i did.
>> how has this last year been for you? how are you feeling?
>> i'm all right. i'm getting through it, hopefully.
>> you write of terrible grief in this book. you write i would be sitting in a chair crushed under a burden of grief and suddenly i would hear someone screaming and then i would realize those screams were coming from me.
>> how did you want to tell this story?
>> because they have it all wrong about her and our relationship. we had no troubled relationship. we had a great relationship. just because kids, when they get to a certain age, they want to do and don't want their mothers to know. i think people just make up thing things, you know. and it's not like that at all. she and i were very, very close. she knew i loved her and i knew she loved me. there were troubled times with her husband. i think other things troubled her so much, you know.
>> the last time you saw her, i think, was at christmas, right before she passed away in february.
>> it sounds like there were some tender moments.
>> very tender.
>> what do you remember?
>> i remember coming there, i was kind of angry, because they didn't come for dinner and all that kind of stuff. but i went some place else. and i was kind of punishing them. but they called me and said, mom, we're here. are you going to come? i said, yes, i will, after i come back from where i'm coming. the next day i did. christmas day i went to new york and i met my children, all of them. and i was so glad to see her. i didn't see her that much but we always communicated in some manner.
>> then you got that terrible news in february. the l.a. coroner's report ultimately concluded that she passed of a combination of a heart condition but also the use of cocaine. there were many other drugs found in her system. and this was a lifelong struggle, it would seem, with drugs. were you surprised at that point? did you think she was doing better at that point?
>> i did think she was doing better. and drugs stay in your system a long time. she didn't have to do that that day, you know what i'm saying? it could be a week ago or whatever, what i know about it. i don't really know much about it.
>> this is a very honest book. you ask yourself some tough questions. you write, should i have done things differently? was i a good mother? was i too hard on her? and the worst one of all, could i have saved her somehow?
>> i think good mothers, good fathers, good families don't always have great children. bad people have good children. it's all their responsibility when they get to a certain age to choose their way. she was taught, she knew the way.
>> was there a moment when you knew, i have lost her to this illness, to drug addiction ?
>> yeah. but when i did that, i went and got her.
>> is that when you went --
>> what did you see when you walked into that house?
>> she told on oprah what i saw, you know what i'm saying? it's not the way she had been brought up and lived and all that kind of business. things that she didn't do, but things that i thought her husband did, you know.
>> let me ask you about bobby brown .
>> i don't know too much about bobby brown . i don't want to talk about bobby brown .
>> you are very restrained in the book. you say you don't blame him but you're not sure he helped her.
>> i know he didn't help her. i don't blame him. everybody is responsible for their own actions up to a point, you know. and i think that she was raised, she knew better. and whatever took her to that position, i really don't know.
>> you write about a woman in the book, somebody that you didn't care for all that much. you say they were very good friends.
>> they were.
>> lived together for a time. you say there were rumors that swirled around that relationship. you come to the conclusion you don't honestly know what that relationship was about. in your heart of hearts, what do you think that relationship with that woman was about?
>> that they were good friends. like raquel welsh , she had a lot of women around her. they thought the same thing about her. she was living her life the way she wanted to do it.
>> you must miss her terribly.
>> i miss her so much, i can't even express it.
>> there's so much heartbreak in this book. you talk about times when you feel like she wasn't in touch as much.
>> no. well, when children, i think, are doing what they want to do, they don't always call their parents, you know. or whatever. they seem to stay away .
>> a lot of people come up to you now and say, whitney, she was taken too soon. and you write in the book, you're not sure about that. you have a different perspective on that.
>> well, i trust in god. and we never know what his -- his ways are not our ways so we have to go with that. and there's nothing i can do about it. i loved her. she was wonderful. i'm very proud of her accomplishments. and i was very proud of her, and i still am.
>> cissy houston , such a delight to talk to you. i know it's not easy, but we appreciate you being here. we'll talk to you more in our next hour. we look forward to that.
>> thank you.
>> the book is called "remembering