TODAY | December 11, 2012
>> it can leave you feeling like a scrooge.
>> we sent out our girl sarah haynes to find out what really stresses you out during the mad holiday rush.
>> reporter: we all know how stressful the holidays can be. chevy chase showed us the pitfalls in national lampoon 's " christmas vacation ." arnold schwarzenegger demonstrated how cut throat trying to get that last toy can be in " jingle all the way ."
>> reporter: " love actually " showed us how frustrating shopping can get.
>> could we be quite quick, please?
>> reporter: and who can forget poor ralphy in "a christmas story ?"
>> you look like a deranged easter bunny .
>> reporter: so i hit the streets to find out what you hate the most about the holidays. okay. what is the most stressful thing about the holidays?
>> finding something for my wife and her not returning it.
>> i'm really annoyed with, like, all the crowds because people have to do a lot of their holiday shopping.
>> reporter: what about you? what's the most stressful thing?
>> finding a gift for my wife and then actually wrapping it. i cannot wrap gifts.
>> reporter: do you just kind of slap tape all over it?
>> i'm a taper. i use a lot of tape.
>> the annoyingest thing is when you have to go to sleep when santa comes and you don't see when he comes.
>> reporter: that's annoying. can you give me your most annoyed face?
>> all right. bah humbug .
>> lezy jane seymour , and relationship expert and therapist tiffany davis. what did i say?
>> got married and proud of it.
>> henry. congratulations.
>> you can feel it when you are on the streets. there's a lot -- there's like a cloud sometimes looming.
>> well, not a cloud, but it's unrealistic expectations.
>> that's the biggest problem, isn't it?
>> i feel like i'm forced to have the most beautiful tree. i'm forced to put gold glitter on my cookies. i blame mart martha stewart and all those people that have raised my expectations so high that i'm going to fail.
>> we are doing that to such an extent that we have completely lost sight about what it's all about and don't enjoy any of it anymore.
>> we tend to overdo it, overspend, overcommit, and these few weeks between thanksgiving and new year aircrafts they are the most hectic and the most stressful for people because we're adding on so many different things. we're cook aing lot more and having all the family gatherings, buying more presents. it's really, really overwhelming, and we really overextend ourselves.
>> you feel so compelled to overspend. that's the bad part. you feel like -- i mean, it's all about how much is the gift i get for you? if it's too little are you going to think i don't love you enough? if it's too extrav gantt, i love you too much.
>> give us some things we can do about it. i mean, real strategic things so we can actually enjoy this crazy time of year.
>> i think one of the great things you can do is get back to giving really great things to people instead of giving the really, really expensive thing, which i always feel compelled to do. i mean, i have to say that at "more" this time we did a gift guide that was 80% thought and 20% price. the idea was things -- yes. really the december issue really thinking about things that mean something to you. a pair of pajamas with, say, your nickname from when you were a child on it. we're not spending millions, but it's thoughtful.
>> yeah. what about something like a -- you can buy a goat and feed a family through world vision . that's very unusual.
>> i think instead of buying, buying, buying we should give, give, give. really take into account, what you said, this is a holiday that we tend to think about presents and gifts and, you know, things under the tree and santa, but really we have to remember the reason for the season . you know? and think about, you know, gathering up all those old toys and going to a children's hospital on christmas day .
>> it's related to family gatherings, because we all step in it, and it's a tinderbox.
>> people -- families are perfect, hoda.
>> that's one of the problems too is that we expect our family to behave perfectly. the friends come over. you know, you have to just get through it. what i do is just say it's one day. we'll get through it. you plaster on that smile. you will just get --
>> you are enjoying it.
>> i don't think you always have to -- there's a difference.
>> i don't think you always have to do it. i think this year for me i took a time-out on thanksgiving. i said i'm not doing it. i can't. i'm too overwhelmed. we ordered dinner in from a restaurant the night before, and we --
>> the world didn't come to an end, did it?
>> guess what, these holidays come every year. i sat this one out next year. had next year we can take it back up where we left off.
>> the great thing about getting older is you finally stop caring what people think and you learn how to say the most important word, no.
>> thank you.
>> bah humbug and no.
>> people look at you like you have four heads when you say no.
>> thank you. have a great