TODAY | December 04, 2012
>>> and as always they come with those awkward social situations.
>> the book "social cues" helps us deal with this and matt damon is here to give us his take on this as well. philip, great to see you. shall we get into it.
>> with my assistant here i feel like there won't be any problem.
>> i feel so unqualified.
>> we'll give you first crack at all of these.
>> in other words, we'll pitt put you out on a limb. every year, this isn't me speaking, someone writing this. every year i exchange gifts with a woman i haven't really been close to for years. is there a way to stop this without being rude? matt?
>> well, i mean, i think maybe you just send a card that just says really? and she will get it, you know what i mean , or you send one that says maybe just cards. maybe we do cards from now on.
>> you address it and definitely tackle it.
>> i would repress it. keep on with it.
>> have you seen the new mini ipad?
>> maybe shrink is. the gifts get cheaper and cheaper.
>> wouldn't that build resentment if you keep sending gifts?
>> your approach is better.
>> back off because i've got the ingenious approach for you right now. you call her up and you say, listen, let's skip the gifts this year but get together for a holiday lunch, and then you either have the lunch and get --
>> then you either have the lunch and get closer to this old friend that you haven't seen for a while or you don't have the lunch but in either event you've stepped off the gift treadmill.
>> but you've stepped on to more engagement.
>> opened up a whole new can of worms. not close to this person in the first place why do you want to have lunch with her?
>> because you'll never have the lunch with her.
>> move over.
>> number two.
>> you'll tackle this one first, too. i want to break up with my boyfriend, but it's already december, and my friends tell me it's mean to break up during the holidays. do i really have to wait until the new year? mr. damon?
>> are you kidding me. no, that's horrible. you're going to drag the guy along. if you know you don't want to be with the guy, you break up.
>> no matter if it's christmas eve , doesn't matter.
>> it's going to stink for the guy no matter what so you might as we'll get it over with.
>> i agree with matt. just go ahead and do it.
>> what are you going to do, get a christmas present from him.
>> two miserable people.
>> imagine new year's eve having that awkward movement toast and here's to a great new year and you know you're breaking up with the guy, no?
>> i think we do get to like a no-fly breakup zone at some point. if you know you're going to break up, i mean, this gal knows she wants to break up now, so do it now, so this guy can keep his eye open when he's going to all his holiday parties.
>> when is the no-breakup zone?
>> not like a scientific date like the vernal equinox but like the 15th or 17th of december and then it gets to be like a little bit mean. plane tickets to go visit your mother.
>> early december.
>> it's easy for her. she knows and it's only the 4th. do it on the 5th.
>> that's me i'm sweating out december 15th . if i get past, that i know my wife is hanging on to me. made it another year.
>> mr. damon, the ladies in our neighborhood have started a new book club . one of the women asked if she would bring her husband. didn't love the idea and we went along with it and then the guy dominated the conversation and now he wants to come back. how do we get rid of him?
>> well, you have a few options. you can --
>> very professional at this already.
>> you can tell the lady that her husband is obnoxious and not to brung him anymore. that's the brutally honest version or you can like take your next three books can be the most girly like the ones with like fabio on the cover, you know, something a dude would never read, right, but you've got to suck it up, do like three books so it's three, four weeks where finally the guy is, like, man, i'm out.
>> yeah, exactly. a charlotte bronte series. tell your friend, i know how it's the ladies and have a little dynamic.
>> thank you.
>> and if the lady decides she's leaving with the husband, so be it.
>> well, yeah, because i think the group consensus is we like this group to be all women, and so especially with this guy who is domineering the crowd. better to avoid getting into his bad qualities and just saying, you know, it's a group call . we've decided it's about women.
>> our still like the guy going what do you mean we're reading "fifty shades of grey" again.
>> my brother and his family are having some hard times financially and we've been very fortunate. is there a way to be extra generous with them at the holidays and let them know we can help without being insulting?
>> yeah, he's your brother. your brother would do it for you, a no-brainer.
>> what's insulting about that?
>> you do it privately. you do it with kindness, and you do it with modesty because one thing is sure in life. we all have ups and we all have downs and he's going to be there for you, too.
>> i think you absolutely do it. the only question is do you feel you have to say you know that i do not expect anything in return, or do you just let it sit there?
>> it depends on your relationship with your brother, you know what i mean ?
>> depending on a lot is just implied.
>> liking this so much they want me to do one more. matt, my girlfriend is an excellent cook and really defensive. when she cooks she tosses the salad with her hands without washing them and tastes everything with her fingers. it makes me feel a little sick. can i fix this?
>> that's not what they told me about tossing the salad.
>> what do you do, get rid of this girlfriend, or you just hire a cook?
>> well, you say, look, you've got to wash your hands because one of us is going to get sick, okay. you just have to wash your hands but the tasting food with the fingers, the guy presumably is kissing his girlfriend, i don't see the big deal there. are you afeed of her saliva?
>> swapping body fluids in another way it's okay. it's okay if she like takes a bite, uses your fork, if it's not okay, then you might want to re-examine the relationship provided that it's before december 15th .
>> which brings us full circle .
>> it really does.
>> real quickly, the right answer?
>> i say on that one you kill her with kindness, thank you so much for making this awesome food for me.
>> with your hands.
>> so lucky to have you, but if you could, you know, use a utensil every once in a while ide i'd feel a little better.
>> all right, guys. matt damon , way to go.
>> good job.
>> i think he wins the book.
>> i get the book.
>> he's the big winner.
>> you need to read that