TODAY | November 15, 2012
>>> whether it's a pushy co-worker or family disagreements around the holidays, how to handle sticky situations, phillip galanos is the author of "social cues." now out in paperback edition. phillip, good morning.
>> thank you.
>> good to have you.
>> just in time for the holidays.
>> which always gets sticky and awkward.
>> sticky, beyond sticky. but today we have a welcome willie palooza for the situation.
>> when new folks make your life a living hell , here we go.
>> what? you had to bring in an expert.
>> saying the same about us.
>> an expert. a new co-worker transferred to our office from another state. i said, let me know if you need any help settling in. since then, it's been three calls a day and nonstop lunch and dinner invitations, how do i make this stop?
>> i think you just got to cut him off. i hate to say it. you've done your part, helped him get started and now maybe stop responding to e-mails quickly, don't return the phone calls . you can't go on like this.
>> willie 's going with the train the puppy.
>> i think you say, look, you know, i've been thrilled to help you, but i need to pull back a little bit because i'm kind of slammed at work.
>> okay. the lie.
>> i feel like the worker is kind of looking for a friend more than anyone. doesn't know anyone, probably trying to find somebody to help guide them, but i think at that point you do, i agree with willie , i think you have to say, listen, i'd love to help you out, you can call me when you really need me, but i've got a whole other life to take care of.
>> can i maybe throw in one more thing?
>> share the load. i think natalie 's totally right, this guy is lonely. introduce to other co-workers and friends and maybe you can offload this one on to them.
>> share the load. spread the wealth.
>> exactly. okay. this one is about thanksgiving. new addition to the family. my brother just married a nice girl who is trying to take over our family thanksgiving. she wants to change all our family traditions to her family's. we want her to feel welcome, but how do we get her to back off?
>> does she cook? send her to my place. if she's willing to cook for us.
>> i think it's up to you to tell your brother, say, look, you've got to have your new wife back off a little bit because she's going to tick everybody off and end up with a carving knife in her back.
>> but life is change and family is change, so you can't ice her out.
>> she gets to bring a pie a this or that too.
>> that's what we did when i married my wife. you bring in some of their traditions. she does one thing, and when i go to visit her house, it's all about her. we come with overwhelming force, you get the aunts, uncles, grandmas, resistance is futile.
>> so a gesture and i like al's comment a lot about rather than taking the new gal on directly, go to your brother who you've got a relationship with.
>> i agree.
>> brand new receptionist at our office. and i can smell her perfume all the way in the back of the office.
>> it is giving me a headache. would it be rude to say something to her? if not, what?
>> i think you need to say it. because i bet a lot of people in the office feel the same way. i've had this issue with people and i'm very perfume sensitive and too much is --
>> i would walk up to her and say, look, there's been a problem --
>> people have been talking about it.
>> natalie has been complaining.
>> natalie has a headache.
>> natalie 's allergic and it may be --
>> blame it on somebody else is what you're saying.
>> i think a lot of times the person wearing all the perfume doesn't realize, perhaps, how much they're wearing.
>> did you tell joe scarborough that?
>> it was axe body spray . if you say it gently.
>> it's a good thing here.
>> you're helping them out, actually.
>> one more.
>> how do you tell a guest you're out of time.
>> you're out of time.
>> welcome, willie .
>> thank you.