TODAY | November 06, 2012
>>> it's something every parent has to deal with. you make a quick trip to the supermarket or head out to a restaurant and your kid has a major meltdown, crying, screaming, whining, the works.
>> it's one thing to discipline them at home. it's another when everyone is watching and judging. so how do you parent in public? here with some solutions, executive editor of "parents" magazine. and new york times best selling author.
>> hi, ladies.
>> i'm only five chapters into lisa's new book, and it is fabulous. you recognize yourself in this book right off the bat, then you realize she's so much worse than you are, which is great. we like that. it's so honest, congratulations.
>> good for you.
>> we lose control over things and it teaches you how to stay in control of what you can't control.
>> speaking of that very thing, there are times when you're out with your kids and you do have that feeling, my kid's having a meltdown, i'm in the grocery store . what's the 101 on a situation like that?
>> you do need to take a deep breath. chances are people in the store watching the tantrum have been through it themselves.
>> it's the people without children that are the most judgmental. they can be the people that put you down the most for having a meltdown with a child.
>> it was interesting, when we talked to the grocery store clerks, they had good tips. put your kids in charge of something at the store.
>> give them a task.
>> yeah, give them a task. if they are going to be there in the cart, they are going to whine for food, to get out. give him the shopping list to check off for you, that's what my daughter does.
>> they have to be old enough to be able to do it.
>> with toddlers, hand them bananas, yellow. keep them involved.
>> should you apologize if the meltdown happens, first thing, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. is that the right thing to do?
>> i think in the moment you have to assess what is most urgent and realize that just because you're having a bad moment doesn't make you a bad mother. you may have nothing to apologize for. it may be more important to address with your child in this moment and quickly assess, are they acting this way because they feel insecure or are being defiant. if defiant, maybe an apology is in order, but if they are being hungry, tired, insecure, than really give your child the attention they are crying out for.
>> prep your child for what you're about to step into, for instance, going to the doctors or something.
>> absolutely, do role-playing at home, get out a play set, give them a play shot, tell them it might hurt, be honest. don't tell them it might hurt.
>> sting for just a second.
>> you don't want to scare them from the doctor. a doctor should be a place they feel comfortable. there's less likely to be a tantrum if they know what to expect.
>> what if they do throw a tantrum? cody did it one time in bloomingdales, i said we're out of here, grabbed him, and took him home. did i do the right thing?
>> i think so. remove your child from the situation.
>> can't reason with them when they are doing it.
>> don't try to reason with them. don't try to have a conversation with an irrational child.
>> no place to have a time-out, you know, can't take them some place in bloomingdales.
>> your car, the street, some place calm you can calm down and they can calm down as well.
>> doesn't make you a bad mother to have bad moments. we've all been there. got to have a little mercy with one another.
>> thank you for coming to see it, appreciate it.
>> appreciate it.