TODAY | June 27, 2012
>>> back now at 8:11 with the special and often powerful bond shared by identical twins as explored in the new tlc special twintvention which follows the lives of three twins. danielle , single, has been living with the couple for three years. todd has decided it's time for danielle to start thinking about moving out.
>> living with my sister and brother-in-law just gives me a feeling of security, of contentment. i'm going to probably prolong it as long as i can. honestly, i know i definitely have to eventually make a move, and that's going to be difficult.
>> i finally feel like i got up the muster to go look at some condos. you have not one positive thing to say about any place we looked at.
>> seriously if you are so ready to move out, it should come within you.
>> nicole , i'm asking for you, moral support .
>> you have my support, danielle , in everything.
>> nicole and danielle joining us along with psychiatrist and contributor gail saltz. good morning to all of you. it's a pleasure to have you here. first of all, you're very confer comfortable in front of the cameras talking about all this. why in the first place did you move in?
>> nicole and i had a business together. we closed the business. when we closed the business, i sold my condo to pay off the debt so we could start fresh. but i did that with the intent that i would move in with nicole until i figured out what i was going to do next.
>> so why have you not then moved out for three years, do you think?
>> i've gotten very comfortable there. i love it.
>> and you're smiling.
>> but your husband is not smiling.
>> he smiles once in a while .
>> that's good.
>> it's the best of both worlds . my best friend , danielle , and my husband. honestly, i couldn't ask for anything better. i know it can't be that way forever, because i think todd will kill me. but for the time being , i think i'm pretty lucky. it's pretty great.
>> how has it impacted your marriage negatively?
>> i mean, that's a very good question. i'd like to say no, it hasn't, but i think there are times it has worn on our marriage. arguments that never would have arisen have arisen over it, when todd has gotten frustrated maybe with does dan actually have a plan? really, this is one year, we're going on three. do you not think it's a good idea she gets a plan into action and just start thinking about it. i'll be like oh, my god, you can't just throw that on somebody right away. you need time to figure it out. he was like, i would never do that, nicole . i'm just saying start thinking and put a plan into place.
>> are you in this thinking because you really enjoy having your sister in the house, or are you thinking because you're concerned about what will happen to her? in other words, is there something about the bond you share that is fueling your wish to keep her in the house?
>> well, again, it's the best of both worlds . living with my twin, my best friend , and my husband i think is pretty fabulous. yeah, if danielle moves out, i want to know she's moving somewhere safe, that she's secure, and that things are good, because i am the worry wart between the two of us. i worry about her constantly.
>> gail , i wonder what you can tell us about the bond between twins and when that bond might be potentially unhealthy.
>> our biggest fear for most people in life is at the end of the day you are alone, you are your own individual. what's amazing about being a twin, you can avoid that feeling somewhat, the feeling that someone else is almost you, feels like you, looks like you, thinks like you in many ways. that is a great comfort. that's what you're talking about, and that 's wonderful , except when it prevents you from really being an individual, which is so important, and all the things that being an individual brings you, like a marriage. have you to be your own person. three people can't be in a marriage. so when it interrupts your functioning in that way, then it is a problem and you need help figuring out how to have enough of your own identity while still enjoying the special bond that being a twin brings.
>> we're going to find out what happens in this series.
>> you've got to love that name twintvention. tonight at 9:00, 8:00 eastern.
>> there you go. dr. gail ,