Bobby Brown: ‘I could’ve done something different’

>>> back now at 7:40 with matt's exclusive interview with bobby brown . his first since the death of his ex-wife whitney houston . they were married for 14 years. brown spoke candidly about their time together and he started by telling matt how he learned of houston's death from one of his new edition bandmates.

>> i heard the news, actually through ralph. he had his phone in his hand and he said he just got a text, and just pulled me to the side, and pulled me outside and said, you know, i just heard this, you know, that whitney had just passed. and i was like, what? and i -- i immediately got on the phone and i called my daughter, and --

>> did you get through?

>> yes, i did. but someone else answered her phone, because, you know, she couldn't talk at the time, and told me that whitney was gone. and i was -- i mean, i -- i just started crying. it was just like, you know, you never expect someone close to you to just, you know, die, you know. it was really hard. i don't know.

>> how long was it before you actually got to speak to bobbi kristina ?

>> i spoke to her right after. she told me to get there, and she needed me to be there with her.

>> you said you were shocked. i'm wondering if there wasn't a small part of you, bobby, that didn't say, i'd always feared it would end this way. based on the troubles she had faced.

>> no, i wouldn't -- i didn't think that way. because i know how hard the struggle is to, you know, maintain sobriety. but she was doing wonderful. everything about her was, you know, going on the upward.

>> you had actually seen her about a week or so before she died. you were having dinner with your daughter, bobbi kristina .

>> yes.

>> and whitney came to the restaurant?

>> yes.

>> so tell me how she appeared at that time. what was her demeanor? what was her emotional state ?

>> she was really -- she had this, this glow about her that was just, you know, incredible. you know. and i'm -- i'm thinking to myself, you know, she must be -- she must be doing really well. because she looked really well.

>> according to the korcoroner's report, bobby, there was cocaine in her system. there was white powder found in a variety of places throughout her hotel room . there were some other prescription drugs found, although not in excessive amounts.

>> mm-hmm.

>> but when you heard the word cocaine, that that was a likely contributor to her death, how did you respond?

>> i was hurt. me being off of narcotics for the last seven years. i felt that she was -- you know, i didn't know she was struggling with it still. but at the same time, you know, it's a hard fight. it's a hard fight to, you know, maintain sobriety that way.

>> i would imagine that in the hours and days after she passed away , you said to yourself on a couple of occasions, what else could i have done? could i have picked up the phone one time --

>> i still say that today, matt. maybe i could have done something different. you know. to ensure that she had a longer life. but you have to want it. you know, some things just happen. god probably needed her for the quiet up there in heaven. and that's the biggest role she has.

>> after whitney passed away , bobby, if i heard it once, i heard it a hundred times, and i know you heard it, too, fans, people who say they were close to whitney

>> mm-hmm.

>> say her life went downhill when she met bobby brown . how do you respond to it? and how does it make you feel when you hear it?

>> it makes me feel terrible. but, you know, i know differently. i think if anyone ever knew us, if anybody ever spent time around us, instead of time looking through the bubble, they would know how we felt about each other. the reality show gave us a wake-up because we were able to see what other people were saying about us. you know. we were able to see that our drug use had affected our relationship, had affected the love that we felt for each other.

>> but why do you think you got the blame? i was read being some blogs after her death. one said bobby brown killed whitney . not in the literal way, but in the figurative way. bobby brown is responsible for getting her hooked on drugs. everyone seems to point the finger at you.

>> no.

>> and they say, whitney was more of a -- an innocent victim in this.

>> no. that's not true. i didn't get high before i met whitney .

>> on narcotics.

>> on narcotics, no. no. i smoked weed. i drank the beer. but, no, i wasn't the one that got whitney on drugs. at all.

>> so this was a part of her life before --

>> way before.

>> -- you and she got together. did you talk about it? did you worry about it?

>> i worried about it when, you know, we first got together, until i tried it. and when i tried it, for some reason i have an addictive personality. unexplainable. but i know i wasn't the one that, you know, got her addicted to drugs or i'm not the reason she's gone.

>> you've said to me point-blank, i am not responsible for whitney getting hooked on drugs.

>> right.

>> would it be fair to say that if you didn't harm her in that way, your relationship didn't help her in that way?

>> our relationship was great. i had 14 beautiful, beautiful years with that woman.

>> and that's not revisionist history? that's not a chance of, after the fact, setting the record straight in bobby brown 's way?

>> no. i can -- i can honestly say that i loved that woman with everything that i am. and i believe she loved me the same way.

>> the night she passed away , bobby, you continued and did your performance in mississippi. in all the years that you guys had been together, you got up onstage and you said simply, i love you.

>> mm-hmm.

>> i love you, whitney . i truly, genuinely loved that woman. and i still love her today. even though i'm getting married sometime soon, my fiancee knows how i felt about that woman. my kids know how i feel -- how i felt about whitney . it's no secret, you know. i was in love with her, deeply.

>> and we'll have more of matt's exclusive interview tomorrow on "today," as bobby brown talks about what happened at houston's funeral, and their daughter bobbi kristina .