TODAY | December 21, 2011
>>> this morning on today's countdown to christmas, keeping your manners merry during the holidays. with all of the parties, family get-togethers and old acquaintances you may be running into, there are bound to be some uncomfortable social situations. here to help us get through them graciously is editor in chief of "women's day" magazine. happy holidays , good to see you.
>> you too.
>> the advice you're offering can be used year-round, but especially around the holidays.
>> absolutely. in the holidays, you encounter more people, more parties, more get-togethers, so these things really come into play. but, of course, these are throughout the year. get ket.
>> all right. let's get to your list. a lot on there. first, you see someone coming toward you, their face may be familiar, but you can't recall the name. what do you do?
>> okay. this happens to everyone. so first of all, realize that it's probably worse for you. your feeling of forgetting than it is for the person whose name you forgot. what you really want to do is you want to acknowledge, you know, be kind about it. and say, i'm so sorry i forgot your name, but i do remember that i met you at so-and-so's house or i remember that great red dress you were wearing. so if you can pick out one little thing that you remember, it makes the whole thing a little --
>> what if you have a friend or spouse standing with you? do you --
>> well, you could do what i do which is before going into a party i'll say to my husband, hey if i forget somebody's name, go ahead and introduce yourself , that way they get the whole thing going. it's really okay and it does happen to everyone.
>> moving on, this is bound to happen. you're at a holiday feast and something is not very tasty. what do you say?
>> well, what you really want to do is you want to be gracious. you want to pretend to eat. you absolutely do not want to acknowledge that you don't like the food. if the person next to you realizes that you're kind of doing what your kids do and pushing it around the plate, just say you had a late lunch, or you're getting over an upset stomach. what you -- the one time that you absolutely want to eat is when something ethnic is being served that's indicative of the person's culture, because that would be rude.
>> that is a great bit of of advice. very smart there. the members one you and i were talking about during the commercial break , if someone has bad breath and they're a close talker . what do you do?
>> okay, first of all, if it you know the person, close friend, tell her. you can do it in a nice way, say, hey, did you have one of those garlicky appetizers, maybe you want a piece of gum. and if she says no, say, really, i think you should have one. if it's somebody who you don't know, like somebody you just met, what you been do is say, i think i'm going to have a mint, take one and offer one to that person.
>> that's my trick. i always say, i'm going to have a mint, you want one?
>> if they deny it, then just move on.
>> that's a good one. the next one, very, very touchy. your friend shows up wearing a new outfit and they ask, how does it look on me or do i look heavy in this outfit, whatever they ask, do you honestly give them your opinion?
>> you want to be subtle, but you also really want to convey that this probably isn't the best thing for them.
>> i can't.
>> well, what you do is, you have to do -- any time you're delivering negative information, you always want to back it up with something positive. so you know your legs look great in that skirt, but i really prefer the red dress you were wearing yesterday. if it's a close friend, you really absolutely can do it.
>> but the outfit -- you have now dised the outfit they have on for the rest of the evening, they feel self conscious.
>> going towards the future. so the next time you say hey that red dress or may, would you like to borrow my sweater?
>> all right. let's get to this next one real quick. chatty cathy , the person who corners you and talks your ear off, what do you do?
>> this is easy. you do not want to engage, you answer if she short answers and don't ask questions. and whenever there is a break in the conversation, excuse yourself, say i'm going to go see if our hostess needs any help. you move on.
>> all right. that's very nice advice. and always say please and thank you. i think