"Texting getting you down? Tired of texting out long, time-consuming messages? Confused by your drunk friends' cryptic wordings? 'Scienticians' at our laboratory have been working around the clock to find an easier way to text and have discovered a breakthrough in communication technology: it's called ... The Phone!"
The performance artists from Killing My Lobster offer their old-timey giant phone solution to rampant texting in this YouTube video, which with Calum Grant's voiceover, urges us to "put those those texting thumbs away and let ... The Phone handle all of your communicative needs with one touch of a button.
"Simply talk into ...The Phone's highly sensitive microphone and it'll transform your voice into text, then retransform it into a voice sounding almost exactly like your own."
"But I like texting," whines one man. "I can send a quick message without having to stay on the phone to make awkward conversation."
"No problem: Our conversation technicians will help you out with vital tips and strategical phrases that will help you avoid those awkward situations, such as 'goodbye' and 'I have to go now,' " and whiny man is put through texting retraining like a prisoner of war.
Nice work, KML dudes.
NSFW note: There is violence and language at the end of the video, which doesn't need those elements to be funny. But, hey: that's performance art for you.
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