Traditionalists, be prepared for a gasp-worthy shocker: In the modern era, women are buying their own engagement rings.
Yup, this is very much a thing, according to a social media poll conducted by the Knot. Many respondents said they would or did go dutch, splitting the cost of their engagement rings with their fiancés in various modern ways—for instance by providing a family heirloom stone, or by making the purchase from a joint bank account.
Responding to the online poll, a bride named Jessica wrote, "I put money down on my ring. My fiancé and I have been together over seven years now. We work together for what we want and need. We are a team.”
Respondent Kelly agreed, “My fiance and I lived together before we were engaged and discussed getting engaged, shopped for a ring together and although he took the credit out in his name, we paid the payments from our joint account (our only account) so I guess we went dutch on it? If you’re getting married then it doesn’t matter who pays for what. It’s all coming from the same pot in the long run."
Of course, not every bride can even fathom such a break with tradition. According to a followup poll conducted by Today, 54 percent of respondents wouldn't consider splitting the cost of an engagement ring—no how, no way.
The Knot respondent Priscilla was among those to say absolutely not. "It should be something he chooses from his heart for you … even if it’s a small ring, it should be the thought that counts," she wrote.
Obviously, any marriage that has a chance of standing the test of time will be built on real love and commitment—not a blingy trinket. But that does't mean we can't have our opinions on how that trinket should end up on our finger as a symbol of that enduring love and commitment.
So let's hear from you: Would you — or did you — go dutch on your engagement ring?
A version of this story originally appeared on iVillage.