Up until now, "trashy" was a word we tried to avoid when it came to our clothes. But the times, they are a-changin': Last February, Moschino designer Jeremy Scott debuted an entire runway show inspired by trash. We guess this makes "you look trashy" the compliment of the year.
So, fine. That's why designers are designers and we're not, right? Their ability to find inspiration and beauty in the most (highly) unlikely places?
We fully support artists doing their artistic thing. But not if it means we're expected to pay roughly the price of a new iPhone for ... this.
We present to you the "Cape Sheer Overlay Dress," a $700 clear plastic tube being sold by British luxury retailer Browns without the accompanying slip underneath.
This is not a dress inspired by dry cleaning bags. This is actually just a dry cleaning bag ... and bring your own dress.
Do you want to hear the biggest irony of all?
It can't be cleaned.
A note on the Browns website reads, "Washing Instructions: Do Not Wash/Do Not Dry Clean." We'll just go ahead and say [insert confused face meme] right here.
Those would be disconcerting cleaning instructions for any item of clothing — much less one that looks like it could slowly steam cook your body from the inside out. Sous-vide haute couture, if you will.
Imagine the boob sweat. The back sweat. The everything sweat! (See also: Yeezy's clear plastic boots.)
A blurb on the Browns website reads, "Although it's often advocated that one should not judge a book by its cover, we're all guilty of doing so. And lucky for you, wearing Jeremy Scott's fun and quirky designs for Moschino is a type of book cover we approve of — and the blurb? That you're the amusing one at the party, of course."
So, yes, you could show the crowd that you're "the amusing one." Or you could show them that you're the sane one who doesn't spend more than the average monthly auto loan on a sweaty plastic bag with a designer logo.
After all, it's not like you can't easily get your hand on a budget version ... by dry cleaning the nice cocktail dress you'd probably rather wear.