July 2, 2014 at 6:39 PM ET
In his hulking fur coat, high on the wall above Castle Black, Kit Harington's "Game of Thrones" character Jon Snow probably smells about as fresh as a direwolf kennel. In a commercial for the new fragrance Jimmy Choo MAN, Harington cleans up a bit in his crisp white shirt — but he still wears Snow's familiar frown.
Maybe the fancy in-ground pool at the mod house above Los Angeles isn't doing the trick for a man who found love in a cave hot spring. Redheaded Ygritte the Wildling was the first to bed Snow, who had taken a vow of celibacy as a member of the Night's Watch — so who is this blonde traipsing around in heels and putting her legs over Harington's shoulders?
But nothing is straightforward when it comes to the often bizarre nature of celebrity fragrance ads. Let's take another whiff of a few of our favorites.
When Brad Pitt just stood there uttering nonsense for Chanel No. 5 in 2012, the video drew 8 million views on YouTube and became the subject of a "Saturday Night Live" parody. "It's not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on." Maybe Pitt's speaking for his ever-evolving goatee and hair. Not sure.
Sarah Jessica Parker delivered three kicks to a store window just to get her hands on her fragrance, Covet. Paris police threw her in the back of a cop car, where she pleaded for a "little spritz ... please." The spot closes with a wide-eyed Parker behind bars, telling us, "I had to have it."
We're not sure what Matthew McConaughey and Scarlett Johansson were talking about in their ad for The One from Dolce and Gabbana. They're in a convertible, then they're on a balcony, and they're dropping innuendo the whole time. We kind of prefer the idea that McConaughey smells like a freshly opened can of beer and Johansson has an air of New York pizza about her. Maybe that's just us.
Before there was pee in a restaurant bucket, there was Someday, by Justin Bieber. Back then, a girl could spray a little perfume on her neck and fly through the air with Bieber before earning the key to his heart. But Someday, well, Someday that would all change and the teen pop star's antics wouldn't pass most people's sniff test.
Charlize Theron couldn't wait to get out of everything she was wearing, except of course her perfume, in an ad for J'Adore by Dior. "Gold is cold ... diamonds are dead," the strutting actress said as she ripped off her jewels and threw them on the floor. Her dress was next, before she told us to "feel what's real."
The ad for Heat, the first fragrance by Beyoncé, left us kind of sweaty and squirming in our seat. She manages to barely keep on more of her dress than Charlize did, but at the end of the day it just looks like it's time for a shower. Won't that just wash off the perfume?
Kurt Schlosser smells like a mix of Old Spice roll-on and a campfire. Follow him on Google+