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Giant river otter

Pets

Animal Tracks: 'The Sarcastic Lens'

Richard and Amy Lynn set out to photograph the animal kingdom with a sarcastic sense of humor in this week's Animal Tracks.

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Giant Pandas

Giant pandas

Richard and Amy Lynn set out to capture pictures of animals all over the world while using their sharp sense of humor. They traveled to all seven continents for this project, which resulted in a book called "The Sarcastic Lens." The following photos and captions are from this book.

"For a hefty fee we had our picture taken with a giant panda, and for an even heftier fee we were permitted to go into a play area with several two-year-old pandas. One of the giant pandas in this play area actually bit my wife so hard that it left a mark. If that had happened in the United States, we would now own the Wolong Nature Reserve."

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Lion cub

Lion cub

"Lions are cathemeral, meaning that they are active both day and night. This is kind of ironic, since lions are famous for sleeping up to 20 hours per day."

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Gentoo Penguins

Gentoo penguins

"Penguins are the stars of any trip to Antarctica, the Falkland Islands, and the South Georgia Island. Who knew there were so many different kinds of penguins? There actually are 17."

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Black bear

Black bear

"They like to terrorize bird feeders and sometimes go so far as to lick the hummingbird mixture right off of our trees. Even our pole bird feeder anchored in concrete is no match for a hungry black bear."

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Brown bears

Brown bears

"The brown bears gorge themselves on these salmon to such an extent that they have become the largest brown bears on earth. Apparently even with a diet-conscious food like salmon, if you eat enough of it, you can still pack on the weight -- and their consumption of Omega 3's must be off the charts."

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Giraffes

Giraffes

"It is difficult for giraffes to manipulate their huge bodies in order to assume the drinking position. They become very vulnerable to predators while they are doing this. Fortunately, no doctors have recommended that giraffes drink eight glasses of water a day."

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Red-Eyed tree frog

Red-eyed tree frog

"It is probably the most photographed frog in the world. Almost any time you see pictures of the wildlife of Costa Rica, one of the pictures will be of this frog. Really, you say, a frog is the best you've got?"

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Orangutans

Orangutans

"Orangutans are very intelligent animals. In fact, 97 percent of their genetic make-up is the same as that of a human. When we were having a lot of issues with our teenage children, I, like any good mother, left my husband with the kids and ran away to Borneo with a friend."

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Leopard cub

Leopard cub

"The leopard is the most widespread member of the cat family. This is probably because their hunting and feeding behavior is so highly adaptable. Yet they are extremely secretive and thus very difficult to find. On our first trip to Africa, way back in 1985, we did not see a leopard for our entire trip. I became so frsutrated that I started seeing imaginary leopards every time I spotted some odd shape in the distance."

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African wild dog

African wild dog

"Wild dogs live in intricate social structures and they coordinate their kills according to a strategy planned out in advance. They then share their kills with the entire group, even those that for some reason may not have participated. However, it is my guess that the non-participatory members can only slouch off on that behavior for so long before the other dogs will catch on."

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Mountain Gorillas

Mountain gorillas

"The gorilla family we were assigned to observe, supposedly only a 60 minute hike away, kept moving as we did. As a result, it turned into a 2.5 hour climb. I threw up twice from altitude sickness before we even reached the park entrance."

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Gray Whales

Gray whale

"Unlike the giant whales, these gray whales seem determined to be photographed. They even have developed their own 'spyhop' maneuver where they elevate themselves straight up out of the water. On top of that, we were able to pet one whale and put our hands in the mouth of another to touch its baleen. How many people have that on their bucket list?"

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Proboscis monkey family

Proboscis monkey

"Is there any more aptly named creature in the animal kingdom than the proboscis monkey? It is good to be a king in their territory. The dominant male generally has over 20 wives."

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Elephants

Elephants

"When I was in elementary school, I remember reading a book entitled '101 Elephant Jokes.' The book contained all the classics. For example: How do you keep an elephant from smelling? Answer: You tie a knot in its trunk."

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Howler monkey baby

Howler monkey baby

"These new world monkeys have mastered the basic camera avoidance techniques: stay as high up in the trees as possible, never look at the camera, and never stay still.

On the other hand, howler monkeys are the loudest terrestrial animals and are second only to blue whales (and that is hardly a fair fight) among all animals."

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Tiger

Tiger

"Obviously, the lines waiting to get to the tiger are very long. The person who drives the elephant is referred to as a 'mahout.' As we anxiously waited for the mahout to take us to our tiger, he suddenly disappeared, bringing the line to a stop. When we asked what was going on, we were told our mahout went to the toilet. Of course he did."

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Giant river otter

Giant river otter

"We waited patiently in a boat on a river in the Pantanal where a family of giant river otters was suspected. Also waiting was another boat loaded with photographers carrying some of the world's most impressive camera gear. After a period of time, the other boat gave up and left. No matter how good your equipment is, you can't photograph something you can't find."

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Toco toucan

Toco toucan

"The toco toucan is the most famous of all the toucans. This is because the toco toucan is the spokesbird for Froot Loops cereal. Kellogg's obviously was not afraid that the toucan bill would intimidate humans away from eating cereal. They knew that the theory applies only to other birds; not children."

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Tasmanian devil

Tasmanian devil

"While the real Tasmanian devils do not spin around like a tornado, they will eat just about anything including rabbits like Bugs Bunny. In fact, they can eat up to 40 percent of their body weight in 30 minutes."

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Rufous-Tailed hummingbirds

Rufous-tailed hummingbirds

"There is something magical about hummingbirds. They are the smallest birds on earth, but they have the largest brain proportionate to their size of any bird. Unlike much larger birds, they seem to have no fear of humans. We are not sure if that makes them intelligent or foolhardy."

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'The Sarcastic Lens'

Find out more about Richard and Amy Lynn's book here.

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