After a tumultuous season of "Teen Mom," the mamas packed up their dramas -- and their caterpillar eyelashes -- and headed to L.A. for their obligatory therapy session with Dr. Drew Pinsky.
On Tuesday night's episode -- the first of the two-part "Finale Special" -- fan favorite Farrah (she's got to be somebody's favorite, right?) received most of the good doctor's attention. And his Kleenex. But that's not all he was handing out....
Acting like a mopey teenager (or "Real Housewives" charmer Ashley Holmes), Farrah cried on about her cruel fate -- i.e., missing out on her teenage years because she had a baby. And although Farrah had agreed to leave her daughter, Sophia, in the stable home of her besotted grandparents while she "found herself" in Florida, she used this opportunity -- before a live studio audience -- to tell her mom she'd changed her mind. Maybe. Fickle Farrah hasn't (or hadn't, when the show was taped four months ago) decided yet whether it was in her Sophia's best interest to be cared for by babysitters in Florida or her doting grandparents in Iowa.
Farrah also cried about her loneliness, surprising Dr. Drew and no one else. "You seem like somebody who would have lots of friends." Either he's a terrible judge of character or has never seen an episode of "Teen Mom."
No matter: We became insta-fans of D. Pins when he put an end to Farrah's pity party. After telling Farrah to "add it up," the apparent Violent Femmes fan (who knew?) told Farrah to stop sniveling and quit pretending she didn't break up with her baby daddy long before he died. Oh wait, that's what we said. Still, Dr. Drew was pretty stern: "You have to let go of the fantasies of childhood," he admonished. "It's time to let go."
But does she let go of her daughter too? Stay tuned.
(Before Farrah's surprise announcement that she was reconsidering Sophia's living arrangements, college-bound Catelynn had an onstage epiphany of her own: She should become an adoption counselor! A+.)
After Farrah's time was up, Amber (and her caterpillars) replaced Farrah on the therapist's couch. Since the show was taped just weeks before her suicide attempt, much of their discussion about Amber's successful therapy rang as false as her eyelashes. Amber really got our attention when she burst into tears and stormed off the stage. What set her off? Not her serious legal problems or custody issues with daughter Leah, but her baby sister's crib death when Amber was very young.
We'll leave Dr. Drew to work that out -- and he will, on next week's thrilling conclusion to "Teen Mom's" third season.
What did you think of Tuesday night's mama drama? Let us know on The Clicker's Facebook page. Like Dr. Drew, we're here to listen.