The fourth season of "Teen Mom 2" opened with Leah, Jenelle, Kailyn and Chelsea reintroducing themselves and bringing us up to date on all their haps. It was a handy refresher because it's been 7 WHOLE DAYS since we saw them, on last week's season three reunion special.
The reunion was apparently taped after filming started for season four, because as the season opens, Leah has just suffered a miscarriage. And unlike her "I want more babies" comments to the stunned Dr. Drew, on the premiere, she is all about taking it slow. That means dangling along her fiancé, Jeremy, while admitting that she'd really prefer to get back together with her ex-husband, Corey. At least she's honest?
Like Leah, Kailyn has a new devoted boyfriend (now her husband, Javi) but still fantasizes about reuniting with her baby daddy, Jo. Unfortunately, her wild jealousy over his girlfriend manifested itself into a physical fight when she saw Vee at his house when dropping off their son.
According to Jo -- the demonstrably calmer parent whenever we've seen him -- Kailyn struck first, punching him in the face while he was holding onto their son. MTV cameras apparently didn't film the confrontation (which sounds even more heated than original "Teen Mom" star Amber Portwood's domestic violence assault), but both parents admit things got physical, and Kailyn has bruises on her arm to prove it.
Without telling Jo (she loves surprising him!), Kailyn files a temporary protection from abuse order, which prevents him from seeing her or his son until a court hearing in two weeks. Maybe Jo should invite his girlfriend?
The premiere also deals with the bombshell Chelsea dropped on Dr. Drew: that she and baby daddy Adam had hooked up without using birth control. The baby daddy, who's now paying child support all by himself with a construction job, insists that they did "kind of use protection."
Our favorite beast of the Southern wild, Jenelle, is moving again -- an event that happens so frequently it should be included every episode summary. This time, she's moving to be closer to her new boyfriend, Gary Head, making his debut appearance on "Teen Mom 2."
If we didn't know better -- and we know better -- we might believe, like Jenelle's mom, Barbara, that Gary is a model citizen. And maybe he is, if you compare him to Kieffer -- who, incidentally, has just been released from prison and tries to contact Jenelle through Gary.
For now, anyway, Jenelle wants nothing to do with the former President of Planet Fun. She's now studying to be a medical assistant, claims she hasn't smoked dope for eight months and is taking her bipolar medication. So why punish herself by voluntarily making Hamburger Helper?
Next time, Jenelle makes Hamburger Helper of her relationship with Gary, Leah's Indecision 2012 continues, Kailyn lawyers up and Chelsea daydreams about being pregnant again.
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