Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:01 PM ET
We begin Monday's "Teen Mom 2" recap with another real-time rundown in the soap opera starring Jenelle Evans: Since announcing her pregnancy last week, the reality trainwreck filed assault charges against her husband, reunited with her bad-boy ex (does Jenelle have any good-guy boyfriends?) Gary Head and reportedly miscarried. Surely her evil (angelic?) twin will arrive any moment?
Enough with the spoilers! On the latest episode of "Teen Mom 2" ...
The Cabin in the Woods: Leah is whisked away by her boyfriend, Jeremy, to a deluxe vacation cabin that even has a hot tub on the back deck! While Jeremy declares, "I'll definitely be soaking my butt in that," Leah retires alone to bed. (What?! Keep reading.)
The next morning, Jeremy treats the young mama to her very first breakfast in bed and her second bouquet of flowers -- with an attached card reading, "Will you marry me?" Aw. Romantic, yes, but can anything top her first husband's proposal? Corey took Leah fishing and had her reel in her engagement ring. Classy!
Time to talk kids! Leah, practically middle-aged at 20, doesn't want to "wait 10 years" (or until she's grown out of her retainer) before having another baby. In related news, Leah admits to her appalled friend Kayla that she removed her IUD and seems to be experiencing morning sickness. With MTV filming everything but her bathroom breaks, Leah takes an in-home pregnancy test and shares the happy news with her twin toddlers: a baby sibling is on the way. (Spoiler alert: Heartbreak results, followed by more joyful tidings.)
Who's Your Daddy? Jenelle enjoys another TV-friendly outing with her son, Jace, taking him to a children's museum. There her girlfriends entertain the tiny tot by re-enacting Jenelle's latest roommate clash with puppets: "Hi, I'm Amber, and I'm a b----!" (Because Jace isn't treated to enough screaming profanity at home.)
Jenelle is surprised by a 12-step "amends"-style call from Andrew, her absentee baby daddy. Or is he? Turns out she hooked up with BFF Tori's boyfriend after a "physical argument" with Andrew a month before she got pregnant. (Headdesk.) "I felt really slutty afterwards," she admits about hiding the secret. When Jenelle proposes a paternity test, Andrew jumps at the chance. He's years behind in child support (although not as much as he thought, considering he thought his 2-year-old was 3), and he "literally, 100 percent" doesn't think he's Jace's dad.
Barbershop: Forget Snip-its for Kids: For their son's very first haircut, Kailyn and Jo take Isaac to a bare bones men's barbershop. Kailyn nervously hovers over her son, apparently terrified he's going to sob like Anne Hathaway in "Les Miz" (he doesn't), and is annoyed that Jo is indifferently texting. (Or is he live-tweeting the important event, à la Jenelle and her supposed miscarriage?)
Thank goodness for Javi, Kailyn's very own Jeremy -- devoted, romantic and eager to capture the attention of the MTV film crew. "You're going to be my best friend," vows Kail's future teen husband, not at all stalkery. At least he isn't begging her to have another baby?
Weird Science: Chelsea sobs in her cheetah sheets because she's not celebrating baby daddy Adam's birthday with him. Rinse and repeat. Somehow she manages to pull herself together and take her math and science GED tests. "Pass or fail, it's a milestone," her proud papa says on her cell phone, which she's holding to her ear while driving in the ice and snow.
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