"Teen Mom 2" served up two scoops of rocky road with back-to-back new episodes Monday night.
Two violent assaults, two arrests, two trips to the wedding chapel … the docu-series really delivered double the dramz this week. Plus, Prince Charming himself, Kieffer Delp, made his second comeback.
To be fair, Kieffah really did come off as the good guy for possibly the first time ever. Then again, even Jenelle's Ed Hardy seat covers looked good when compared to Gary Head.
At first, it's nothing but romance and puppies for Gary and Jenelle. (Literally: He bought her a puppy.)
But after a whirlwind engagement, the explosive Marine first broke down Jenelle's front door, and hours later, was arrested for assaulting her.
Jenelle was arrested too, because when the cops arrived, Gary played a game of show-and-tell with her marijuana stash, pipe and Klonopin.
This time, her mom bailed her out of jail and let her stay at her house. Can't imagine Barbara was too pleased when she found out K.Delp crossed her threshold, however.
But hey, he did drop some wisdom when Jenelle said it was over with Gary.
"To keep it real wit ya, once he punched you in the face and you was done," Kieffer reminded her. (Did Babs know about this? And if so, why'd she let him babysit Jace?)
"We've been to the point where the police didn't want us together too," he added about the restraining order issued against Gary, "And we was chillin'."
But Kieffer's true jaw-dropper was this: "You can definitely find somebody better than Gary." Pause. "Or me."
Unlike Jenelle (this time), Leah's short engagement was much less tumultuous (only one breakup during Indecision 2012) and concluded with nuptials in the courthouse chapel. The couple are still planning a grand summer wedding, but in order to get the home loan they wanted, they needed to seal the deal.
There's only one negative: "In our wedding pictures it's going to look like I married a teenager with them braces on," Jeremy joked en route to picking up their rings. (Dude, she's 20. You almost did marry a teenager.)
Leah's ex, Corey, wasn't exactly overjoyed to hear the news -- especially when Leah asked him to up his childhood support. And although they made a verbal agreement for an extra $100 a month, the court recalculated it to $800 based on his salary. Ouch! Well, twins are expensive, y'all.
Kailyn and Javi also considered tying the knot for practical reasons: He's hoping to join the Air Force, and they will only provide housing and other benefits to married couples. But although they pay a visit to Vegas' world-famous Little White Wedding Chapel (Britney Spears was married there, and that worked out so well for her!), they decide to postpone. And as Kailyn pointed out, "I'm not marrying you unless I have a ring. We're not even engaged yet!"
Beauty-school student Chelsea's having a rough time of it lately, and not just because of her terrifying purple hair and makeup. (Maybe cosmetics class is next semester?) Baby-daddy Adam has a new girlfriend and a newfound interest in spending time with his daughter. Although he obliquely threatens to take her to court, Chelsea's lawyer assures her that he won't fare that well in a battle for even part-time custody.
Cue Chels' typical overreaction: "I don't know what it feels like to be happy," she cries to her dad. (Dierks Bentley would beg to differ.)
Next week: Chelsea considers taking a leave of absence from school because of all the "stress," Corey's upset about paying so much child support, Javi passes his Air Force entrance exam, and Kieffer and Gary have a showdown outside the courthouse.
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