Have the Fans of "Survivor: Caramoan" actually watched the show before? Just days into season 26, the fab four are failing arithmetic and Shamar is thinking of quitting the game.
After their first Tribal Council, Reynold is reeling from the "revenge of the nerds," who voted out his snuggle bunny Allie. It suddenly dawns on him, Eddie and Hope that their alliance is a "vast minority." (Maybe these kids were too busy admiring themselves during math class, but four versus six was a significant minority from the outset.)
Meanwhile, Shamar is lunging around camp like an injured Godzilla, breathing fire at everyone and making absolutely no sense. Everyone is appalled except businesswoman Sherri, whose entire staff at home consists of Shamars: "All I do is deal with snotty teenage brats all day."
Shamar then starts threatening to quit the game, revealing that after his first tour in Iraq he suffered from alcoholism and "anger issues." But it's his genuine belief that he's "trying to uplift everybody" that makes us wonder how he ever passed his CBS psych eval.
Just as we're tasting bile at the thought of another NaOnka and Purple Kelly desertion, Shamar agrees to stay a few more days out of loyalty to Sherri, Laura & Co.
"He made himself a hero for unquitting the game of 'Survivor,'" said Reynold. Bravo!
Over at Bikal, Phillip is channeling his inner Richard Simmons, while Corrine and Malcolm team up to look for the Hidden Immunity Idol. He finds it in about five seconds, they do a celebratory Snoopy dance/pinky pact, and bury it in another spot. (He doesn't tell Corrine that he was burned by Laundry Lady Lisa.)
Andrea, who is playing this game harder than anyone, notices that Corrine and Mal are "intensely talking" and tries to sway Cochran and Phillip to swap out Corrine's spot with Brandon and oust the "Gabon" vet instead. Fortunately for Corrine, the Favorites win both immunity and reward (including chairs, pillows, blankets and a tarp).
It's another spectacular challenge, proving that "Survivor" should never, ever have another landlubber season.
Although Laura flounders during the swim, it's a tight race. Both tribes, even at 9-9, must swim to a cage, climb it and jump into water, release and drag a submerged chest to shore, and then push it to a platform after assembling a series of tracks obtained via grappling hook.
While Eddie struggles, Brandon nails the last hook for Favorites victory.
Shamar continues his unique version of "uplifting" the tribe, calling Reynold "disgusting" and revealing to Hope the majority's plan to split the vote between her and Eddie. She shares his revelation with Julia, who for a hot minute considers aligning with the Pretty People to vote out the insufferable Marine.
At Tribal Council, Shamar continues his Pity Party of One, accusing everyone of lying -- including the guys on his "No-Talking List" -- and throwing him under the bus. (Where, in fact, he really threw himself. He's much too huge for anyone else to toss him into traffic.)
With Reynold again holding onto his immunity idol, Eddie, Hope and Shamar are tied with three votes apiece. As planned, Shamar, Michael and Matt switch their votes to Hope, and her torch is summarily snuffed.
Eddie and Reynold's lunch table is sure getting lonely. Aw.
Did Gota do the right thing, or should they have taken out their loose cannon before he quits them? Tell us on our Facebook page!
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