March 8, 2013 at 1:37 PM ET
Stephen Colbert may seem like a hard-shelled fake newsman, but inside he's a romantic -- and a devoted fan of "The Bachelor."
Interrupting his own report about the deficit crisis on Thursday's show -- his last before a two-week vacation -- the "Colbert Report" host sighed, "Shut up. Shut up, you stupid, boring news."
"I want to talk about 'The Bachelor.' I love that show," he gushed, before launching a six-minute sendoff of ABC's wildly successful reality dating show.
"Every time I watch, it's just Daddy time," he revealed. "I just pour myself a glass of chardonnay, and I am off to a land of romance."
Between gulps of wine, the starry-eyed host chastised naysayers.
"Don't be a hatah," he admonished, pointing to the series' "successful" track record: "In 16 seasons one guy has gotten married…to the runner-up, after he initially proposed to a different girl. So the system works."
"And how great is Sean?" Colbert continued about the current Bachelor, who's about to pick the woman he wants to marry. "What girl wouldn't want to be with an eligible hunk who has a successful career as a contestant from last season's 'Bachelorette'?"
"My favorite part (of the last episode) was the full minute of emotionally charged staring," said the faux journalist, before playing that excruciating clip -- including the melodramatic closeup of Sean's trembling rose -- as his audience guffawed.
Colbert concluded the segment by pitting guest John Sexton, promoting his book "Baseball as a Road to God," against the emotive "Dougie St. James."
"One of you will be my guest tonight, and the other will be going home," declared Colbert, before selecting Sexton for his interview.
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