April 13, 2014 at 4:01 AM ET
Seth Rogen insisted during his "Saturday Night Live" monologue Saturday night that he didn't want help from any famous friends, but three of them showed up anyway. Zooey Deschanel, James Franco and Taylor Swift all popped up on stage to help — or hinder — the third-time host.
Franco showed up after Rogen referenced the actor's reported attempted hotel hookup with a teenage girl (Gawker has questioned whether it's all a publicity stunt). Deschanel offered to play her ukulele. But Swift got off the best line of the bit, mocking her own love-life-themed songs.
"You're getting really upset, and whenever a man shows emotion, I appear," the singer joked.
Rogen also played a beleaguered police officer who tries to teach grade-schoolers to stay away from drugs, but thanks to recurring character Shallon (Nasim Pedrad), the entire class ends up gung-ho to try crack.
"So drugs are kinda like a fun treat for a special occasion!" announced Kenan Thompson's character.
A fake commercial for a CNN brand pregnancy test poked fun at the network's devotion to the missing Malaysia Airlines jet, featuring a pregnancy test that wouldn't give a direct answer, but kept interrupting a woman's life with no-information updates. Its slogan? "For when you want to know that they don't know."
Rogen and Cecily Strong also star in a fake ad for Blue River Dog Food, in which Strong's character reveals she hasn't quite come to grips with the guilt over feeding her dog a lesser dog food.
And Franco turned up later in an SNL Digital Short, "Monster Pals," in which two monsters temporarily lose each other when one has an operation to look human — and ends up as Franco.
Musical guest Ed Sheeran performed "Sing" and his new song, "Don't."
Andrew Garfield will host the next new episode, on May 3, the day after his "Amazing Spider-Man 2" opens in theater. The musical guest will be Coldplay, whose frontman, Chris Martin, recently made headlines for splitting with wife Gwyneth Paltrow.