May 19, 2011 at 11:38 AM ET
As we open on this finale episode of "America's Next Top Model" Cycle 16, let us engage in a moment of silence for Hannah. She of the weeping eyes and high-flying winged eyeliner will not be backcombing her hair into a Dee Snyder hawk’s nest and walking in a Vivienne Westwood fashion show for the finale. No! That honor is reserved for Molly and Brittani, one of whom will score a spread in Italian Vogue, a Cover Girl contract, representation with IMG, and the cover of Vogue Something or Other But Definitely Not Italian Vogue.
But first the sad stuff: Brittani’s single mom has panic and anxiety disorder and they were once on welfare. Molly has abandonment issues and went into rehab. She also never realized, like, how high her cheekbones were “until I came here.”
A TyraMail arrives. It has foreign words on it. The conclusion: The Cover Girl commercial must come next. Molly realizes she’s going to have to pretend she has a different personality.
Ivan Bart meets the girls at a country club to grill the girls instead. When Brittani sits down with Bart, he asks her how she would feel about, say, having move to Milan for six months for work. Instead of the smart response (e.g. “Are you kidding me? I would swim there! Right now!”) she indicates that she would be “OK with that.” Bart seems to like Brittani just fine anyway.
Only after that grilling do the girls get to shoot their commercial. A photographer named Pierpalo Ferrari will be shooting their still photos later; but for the video, they will be shot from three different angles at once, so, as Mr. Jay puts it, “you need to deliver from every angle.”
Read the full recap at HitFix.com.