In “The Obama Diaries,” conservative political television commentator Laura Ingraham skewers the president, his family and associates using a journal-style format. The book consists of fake diary entries written by President Barack Obama, his family, and high-ranking administration officials. The following is an excerpt from the book.
You might call what follows the drama behind Obama.
I didn’t go looking for what you are about to read; rather in the grand designs of destiny, it found me. On May 20, 2010, I did what I do every Thursday — I treated myself to a pedicure. It was forty-five minutes of sheer uninterrupted bliss, and I left the salon at the Watergate complex feeling relaxed and carefree. The elevator to the underground parking garage was under repair, so I walked the four floors down to retrieve my car. As I pressed the remote to unlock the car door, my eye caught a thick manila envelope lying on the hood of the car. The words “Property of the American People” were scrawled in black Magic Marker on the front. As I cautiously lifted the package, a deep baritone voice called out from the nearby stairwell. “Just read it,” he said. “You’ll know what to do.” Except for his high-top sneakers, his identity was obscured by the shadows.
“Who are you? What is this?!” I shouted back. The mystery man stood silent for a few seconds and then vanished faster than Obama’s high approval ratings. Shaking, I threw the envelope in my car, unsure of what I should do next, or where I should go. Being alone did not seem like a good idea, nor did going straight home. So I drove over to the W hotel, maybe a hundred yards from the White House, where the rooftop bar was humming. I ordered a drink, found a little nook, plopped down, and ripped open the envelope. What I found inside took my breath away — literally. For almost two hours, I sat there — oblivious to the loud dance beat booming over the speakers — leafing through the papers, totally transfixed.
In my possession were copies of excerpts from what appeared to be many of President Barack Obama’s handwritten “diaries,” as well as those of Michelle Obama; her mother, Marian Robinson; Vice President Joe Biden; Rahm Emanuel; David Axelrod, and others. Here was a firsthand account of the Obama presidency, as it happened, in the words of those who shaped it.
One “diary” was more fascinating and more revealing than the next. The intrigue, the emotion, the struggles, the sheer arrogance of these people jumped off the pages. When I finished reading the last entry in the packet, I found myself aching for more. Each installment told us something new and revealing about the personalities in the Obama White House.
As I began to think about what to do with this treasure trove of information, I looked through the bar’s floor-to-ceiling windows at the Washington Monument framed in an ethereal orange trim. Just then, I heard Marine One, the president’s helicopter, as it rose off the South Lawn of the White House. Inside might have been Barack Obama jaunting off somewhere for the weekend — was he aware that some of his “diaries” had been copied? Was the FBI already on the case? My heart began pounding at the thought of what lay ahead, as I knew these writings would send shock waves through Washington, the country, and the world.
It was then that I decided not to keep the “diaries” for my own personal amusement, but to release them to the public, to share them with others for the good of the country and the world.
I tried to call Bob Woodward, but he wouldn’t take my call. Then I attempted to send an e mail to Matt Drudge, but my air card couldn’t find a signal. Maybe these are signs that I should release the “diaries” myself, I thought.
Of course, the problem with diaries is that you can never be sure if the author, particularly a public figure, is telling the whole truth or shading it for posterity. Rather than commenting on the “diaries” or vouching for their veracity, I have elected simply to place them in historical context. The “diary” entries are arranged by topic and framed by relevant facts and quotes from the parties involved. I am very free with my opinions aboutthe public record of Team Obama, but thought it best to withhold judgmenton the explosive material in the “diaries” and let the authors speakfor themselves. Discerning fact from fiction in these “journals” will be up toyou. Ultimately, I feel this approach will permit readers to come to their ownconclusions about Obama, his intimates, and their designs.
While working on this book and reading these “diaries,” I must admit that I had previously overlooked something about the Obamas — they are flippin’ hilarious!
It is hard to think of a more self-important president than Barack Obama, and harder to imagine a press corps more willing to prop up his outsize ego. They have created a mythic image of Obama as redeemer — a secular savior virtually beyond reproach. The Obama mythos has been shaped by the repetition of the various superlatives used to describe him: brilliant ... a phenomenal listener ... calm under pressure ... a master communicator ... empathetic ... a uniter, not a divider ... works tirelessly for the American people. They have exalted him above all others.
This deification of the president is one of the biggest con jobs in American political history.
Beneath that elevated chin and that purposely furrowed brow is a man who I believe is truly worthy — worthy of satire, that is. Such arrogance and pomposity screams out for ridicule.
The satiric diaries bring the Obama reality show into clear and frightening focus: the titanic egos ... the devious plans ... the stunning incompetence.
As we suffer under the rule of Obama, it’s easy to get depressed and discouraged. But before you reach for the Paxil, I want to suggest another path. Take the time to see this president and his administration for what they are: buffoons. Whatever your political bent, put your feet up, and allow our president to fulfill his campaign promise to bring us together: together in hysterical laughter!
I wrote this book because I believe we are at the crossroads of history. In my other books, I warned about the liberal elites who are amassing more and more power over the American people. With the rise of the Obama administration, I fear that we have reached what may be a tipping point, and that we risk a future in which average Americans have less power over their lives than their parents had. Since Obama was sworn into office, Americans have been mobilizing to fight his agenda. With so much at stake, it is important to see all the issues in context, so we can truly appreciate the unprecedented power grab that is taking place.
If you really want to roll back the Obama agenda, you must understand who Obama truly is and the motives behind his ruinous policies. Oh, and by all means, feel free to have a laugh at his expense. After all, you’ve paid for it.
Reprinted with permission from “The Obama Diaries” by Laura Ingraham (Threshold Editions).