Fast-forward to today—five weeks since she gave birth to baby North West—and the news that Kardashian is planning a big, public reveal of her newly slimmed-down body. She'll do it on her mother's talk show, Kris.
In other words, she's literally been hiding in mom's mansion, a prisoner of her own fame and the public's expectations. A few days ago, she did venture out, quietly, in her assistant's car. But despite her attempts to keep a low profile, Radar Online was able to find "onlookers" who spotted her.
“Kim looks amazing, she really does," the witness told the site. "She’s dropped a lot of the baby weight already ... not to say she still doesn’t have a ways to go, but she looked slim and was glowing. ... She’s dropped quite a bit of the baby weight and it shows.”
Even before this low-profile outing, Us Weekly was monitoring her weight-loss progress. Fitness guru-to-the-stars Tracy Anderson shared the routine she planned to implement, tailor-made for Kardashian's body and her preferences. "In the beginning, it's key getting the deep abdominal muscles back and making sure that you get the strength back in the right layers," said Anderson. She added that Kardashian would start with four-day-a-week workouts and then gradually increase to five or six days.
So. This is the point in the article where we point out how intimidating this information can sound to non-famous moms without personal trainers and full-time nannies. Cue up the same old story: Celebs must drop the baby weight ASAP. And then all the emphasis on celebrities losing weight after baby makes everyone else anxious and depressed.
Recently, though, a new element has been added to this narrative: Nowadays, celebrities are slimming down as quickly as possible as a "So there!" gesture to an increasingly antagonistic tabloid culture. In this case, gossip columnists relished the chance to snicker when Kardashian lost control over her formerly perfect body. And Kardashian is jonesing to show them she's gotten it back. When she strides on stage with her newly banging body, she'll be flipping her critics the metaphorical bird.
Sadly, everyone loses in this scenario. Kardashian and every other new mom have other, more important issues to concern themselves with after giving birth. Like being a good mom.
Jennifer Graham Kizer is an Atlanta-based writer who covers pop culture and watches too much TV. Luckily, iVillage gives her an excuse to watch even more. Follow her on Google+.
A version of this story originally appeared on iVillage.