"Jimmy Kimmel Live" planned to take New York by storm this week -- alas, it was the other way around. But, a night after canceling the show as post-tropical storm Sandy bore down on the Eastern Seaboard, Jimmy was in business Tuesday at the Brooklyn Academy of Music's Harvey Theater. And he snagged a live studio audience to watch!
"I was born in Bay Ridge. I grew up in Mill Basin. Tonight, I have returned to save my people from the storm," Kimmel kicked off his monologue. "Thank you for ignoring the local authorities to be here tonight for our first show ... Mayor Bloomberg will be here shortly to have you arrested."
As for his unexpected night off: "I stayed in my hotel room, I drank all the little bottles of shampoo and I passed out."
Before welcoming guests Howard Stern and Tracy Morgan, Kimmel also touched on hot topics like the fuss over the mayor's sign language translator, Lydia Callis ("It's hard to tell where the sign language ends and the interpretive dance begins") and photobombing types who will run outside in their bathing suits just to get on the news ("Only risk your life when it's hilarious").
"I was begging Jimmy to cancel the show!" Stern announced. "I'm driving along and I'm trying to get here, and I thought, 'Why am I really trying to be here tonight?'"
Letterman, meanwhile, carried his edgy tone over from last night, joking that they normally ignore their audience anyway and lamenting the harsher storm facts like the concerned part-time New Yorker that he is.
"Odd name for such a miserable force of nature," the "Late Show" host said of Sandy. "Effects felt from Bermuda to Canada, 8 million homes and businesses without electricity...Economic losses could reach $20 billion -- and most of that is in paper towels."
"I had to come in, I used up all my sick days," he cracked. "I feel like Clint Eastwood, an old guy talking to empty chairs."
Kate Hudson was the previously scheduled guest, but she canceled and Weather Channel expert Jim Cantore ended up doing the honors instead, along with singer Andrew Bird.
"Oh, it had nothing to do with the hurricane, it's just me," Letterman cracked about Hudson being a no-show.
Elsewhere in town, Studio 6B was packed once again for "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" (would guest Donald Trump have bothered to show otherwise?), who thanked the crowd for coming out.
"I'm so glad you're here because last night's audience was the worst," Fallon said. "Last night we had to do the show in front of a bunch of empty seats -- or as Clint Eastwood calls that, a full house."
"A lot of people don't have access to Facebook or Twitter" in the wake of the storm, he continued. "A lot of people couldn't get on Instagram, either. This morning I had to show a picture of what I ate for breakfast to my cab driver."
Fallon also had a good zinger for Trump, as they talked about what the "Celebrity Apprentice" chair will do with his $5 million if President Barack Obama doesn't heed his call to turn over his college and passport records.
Noted Fallon: "New Jersey could use it."
To aid storm relief, please text REDCROSS to 90999 ($10 donation) or visit http://redcross.org
- David Letterman, Jimmy Fallon perform to empty studios
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