In “American Idol: The Complete Waste of Time” edition on Thursday night, nobody got sent home, Lee DeWyze and Stefano Langone sang live, and Drake came onstage for a homage bit with Candice Glover but not to perform himself. It was like someone challenged the “Idol” brass to spend one show trying to do everything wrong.
We still got results, as Candice and Amber Holcomb were revealed as the two lowest vote-getters after Wednesday’s show, but in a twist obvious to anyone who owns a calendar and a copy of the TV schedule, it was an elimination-free evening. Otherwise, as Ryan Seacrest explained, the show would finish a week early because the judges never used their save. Somewhere out there, Curtis Finch Jr. is yelling that Nicki Minaj should have stuck to her guns on that March 14 show and stayed off the stage until the other three judges agreed to keep him. Also, take a bow “Idol”voters, because for now the judges agree that you are perfect.
But not to worry, Ryan said, all of those votes still count. They’ll be added to next Wednesday’s votes and whoever finishes at the bottom is gone for reals. So it’s still good for Kree Harrison that she rebounded to finish in the top two despite some lukewarm feedback, and Angie Miller is still a lock to make the top three.
With all apologies to the live acts, both of whom had their moments, the entertaining portion of the night was limited to a five-minute stretch in the middle of the show that began with Jimmy Iovine discussing being attacked last night.
“So here I am, onstage for the first time in my life on a live TV show, the entire audience is booing me, and from the judges’ panel here comes Nicki Minaj coming at me like a middle linebacker,” Jimmy said. “Turns out that my incredible charm, charisma and style win the day. I gotta tell you something – I think [Nicki] is sweet on me.”
“Is this a mutual crush?” Ryan asked.
“I didn’t want to tell the world. I was kind of waiting until ‘Idol’ was over to reveal that my new sugar daddy is Jimmy Iovine,” Nicki said.
Despite Jimmy’s plug, no NFL team selected Nicki in the first round of the NFL Draft, which was airing at the same time on another network. She’s really more of a cornerback or free safety anyway.
Seconds later, just as Candice was grimacing thinking that for the second night in a row everyone was talking about someone else on her designated critique time, Ryan said that Drake couldn’t be there, but had an audio message praising Candice for her performance of his song last night. Just when everyone started thinking “wow, the sound quality is way better than any ‘Idol’ phone message replay ever,” he walked out onto the stage, and the reaction of Candice and the other three girls was priceless. He then walked around for awhile, realized that Ryan really was not going to beg him to perform, and went away.
If you missed it, don’t worry. All four “Idol” finalists will be back next week anyway.