Confessions of Jennifer Lawrence's Oscar date: Brad Pitt 'smells amazing,' and more

Jennifer Lawrence can certainly provide her own comic relief by tripping and one-lining her way through an awards show. But the friend she brought to Sunday's Oscars is a star in her own right with her published account of what it's like to be a guest for Hollywood's biggest show.

Christopher Polk / Getty Images
Actress Jennifer Lawrence, right, and her friend Laura Simpson backstage during the Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, Calif., on March 2.

Laura Simpson writes in a Myspace post that she has been friends with Lawrence for seven years after meeting at an event, and hitting it off over their "mutual respect for Chandler Bing." She says that they've been eating pizza together ever since and then she launches into a great behind-the-scenes look at the spectacle millions only get to witness on TV.

Simpson writes the most interesting view isn't one you'll see on TV.

  • "Highland (between Sunset and Hollywood) is filled with barricades with different entry points so no crazy person can plow their car through, killing everyone on the red carpet. Guarding each entry point through the barricades are men in head to toe camouflage with gigantic automatic weapons. ... Every inch of the sidewalk is full of God-fearing picket signs and psalms. Some have megaphones and are yelling inaudible sermons and others just shouting at the line of black cars."

When Lawrence stumbles over a traffic cone on the red carpet (and proceeds to go viral again) it's Simpson who breaks her fall.

  • "There are flashbulbs and people circling yet no one asks if I need any help because unless you are famous at the Oscars, you are completely invisible. I have never experienced anything like it. The only time anyone talks to you is if you are in the way of his or her photo. Oh and photographers on the carpet yell "YOU IN THE HUGE DRESS, GET OUT OF THE [EXPLETIVE] SHOT." It's incredible. It is no wonder actors are crazy."

In her seat and enduring the endless award categories, Simpson sheds light on why that pizza host Ellen DeGeneres brought in was quickly scarfed down.

  • "It's around this time that you realize you are STARVING and haven't had any food since breakfast at 9 a.m. It's hot and you feel like you're going to pass out. After waiting for my date's category, her dad and I decide to hit the bar and just watch from the monitor behind the bar and slam a few drinks to make this tolerable. The Academy really needs to spring for more hors d'oeuvres options because now everyone is hammered."
John Shearer / AP
Brad Pitt enjoys a slice of the pizza delivered during the Oscars. Thankfully, he didn't smell like pepperoni when he got backstage.

A brush with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie backstage goes just as you would expect.

  • "Brad Pitt smells amazing, like nothing I've ever smelled. Eventually we ask what cologne he's wearing and he tells us, 'I don't wear cologne, it's just my musk I guess.' I have to choose not to believe him because it would just be unfair to mankind. Angelina is gorgeous and elegant and they are like The Sun and The Moon."

Everyone goes to the Vanity Fair party afterward where, again, only the famous are worth noticing. But, Simpson catches one star's eye.

  • "(I) decide to follow Bill Murray around the party. At one point he looks in my direction and winks at me while dancing to 'If You Want My Body and You Think I'm Sexy' by Rod Stewart — a moment, I now realize, my whole life had been leading up to."

Simpson says her main takeaway from the evening was how lovely all of the women were who she interacted with, including Kerry Washington, Jessica Biel, Glenn Close, and Anne Hathaway.

  • "Actresses tend to get a bad reputation but every woman I met was lovely, witty and introduced themselves to me even though I wasn't famous."

Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence's not-famous friend finishes by handing out her own REAL awards for Most Beautiful, Best Dressed, and more. You should go read her full piece over here.

  • Slideshow Photos

    Jordan Strauss / Invision

    Image: Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence

    Jennifer Lawrence

    The young actress has quickly risen to become a film and fashion icon, with an Academy Award already under her belt.

  • Image: Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence

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    Here's to the winners -

    Jennifer Lawrence, right, has been a regular on the red carpet since breaking through with "Winter's Bone" in 2010. Here she poses with "American Hustle" co-stars Amy Adams and Bradley Cooper. The film won the best motion picture -- comedy or musical award at the 2014 Golden Globes.

    AP / AP
  • Image: Jennifer Lawrence

    Jennifer Lawrence

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    Do the 'Hustle' -

    In "American Hustle," a drama based on the ABSCAM scandal of the early 1980s, Lawrence plays Rosalyn Rosenfeld, a fictionalized version of Marie Weinberg, the wife of one of the scandal's main figures.

    Sony Pictures / Sony Pictures
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    May the odds be ever in your favor -

    Lawrence plays heroine Katniss Everdeen in the "Hunger Games" films, including the 2013 hit "Catching Fire."

    Lionsgate / Lionsgate
  • Premiere Of Lionsgate's "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire" - Arrivals

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    Daring design -

    Lawrence is flanked by Liam Hemsworth, left, and Josh Hutcherson at the "Catching Fire" premiere on Nov. 18, 2013.

    Getty Images / Getty Images
  • Image: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire photocall

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    Short style -

    Lawrence shows off a short haircut while posing for photographers in Spain in 2013.

    EPA / EPA
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    Cover girl -

    Lawrence graced the cover of the September 2013 issue of Vogue magazine, telling writer Jonathan Van Meter that she always knew she'd be famous, even if she wasn't sure how she'd achieve that goal.

    AP / AP
  • Image: "Silver Linings Playbook"

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    Shining 'Silver' -

    Lawrence starred with Bradley Cooper in the 2012 film "Silver Linings Playbook." Both were nominated for lead acting Oscars, and Lawrence won the best actress award.

    The Weinstein Company / The Weinstein Company
  • Image: Jennifer Lawrence

    Jennifer Lawrence

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    Gown of renown -

    Lawrence's billowing Dior ballgown at the 2013 Oscars tripped her up when she headed onstage to accept her best actress statue. She laughed it off, saying to the applauding audience, "You guys are only standing up because I fell and you feel bad."

    AP / AP
  • Image: 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Show

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    Lady in red -

    Before her 2013 Oscar win, Lawrence won the Golden Globe for best actress in a motion picture comedy or musical for "Silver Linings Playbook."

    AP / AP
  • Image: 18th Annual Critics' Choice Movie Awards - Arrivals

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    Back in black -

    An elegant Lawrence arrives at the 2013 Critics' Choice awards.

    Getty Images / Getty Images
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    Katniss and Effie -

    Lawrence starred as "The Hunger Games" famed Katniss alongside Elizabeth Banks' flamboyant Effie Trinket.

    Lionsgate / Lionsgate
  • The Hunger Games Cast at Broward Mall

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    All at the mall -

    Lawrence and "Hunger Games" co-stars Alexander Ludwig (Cato) and Amandla Stenberg (Rue) chat with fans at the Broward Mall in Plantation, Fla., in 2012.

    Getty Images / Getty Images
  • Image: Jennifer Lawrence of "The Hunger Games" accepts the award for "Favorite Movie" at the 2013 People's Choice Awards in Los Angeles

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    The People's favorite -

    Lawrence accepts the award for favorite movie for "The Hunger Games" at the People's Choice Awards in Los Angeles on Jan. 9, 2013.

    Reuters / Reuters
  • Premiere Of Liongate's "The Hunger Games" - Arrivals

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    Golden girl -

    Lawrence attends the premiere of "The Hunger Games" at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live in Los Angeles on March 12, 2012.

    Getty Images / Getty Images
  • 2012 People's Choice Awards - Show

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    Katniss and Gale -

    Lawrence and "Hunger Games" co-star Liam Hemsworth speak onstage at the 2012 People's Choice Awards in Los Angeles.

    Getty Images / Getty Images
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    'X' marks her spot -

    Lawrence joined the gang as Mystique for "X-Men: First Class" in 2011 alongside Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Caleb Landry Jones, Rose Byrne, Nicholas Hoult and Lucas Till.

    20th Century Fox / 20th Century Fox
  • 83rd Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

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    Ready for her closeup -

    Lawrence dazzles in red on the red carpet at the 83rd Academy Awards at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, Calif., on Feb. 27, 2011. She was nominated for best actress for her role in "Winter's Bone."

    Getty Images / Getty Images
  • Orange British Academy Film Awards - Winners Boards

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    Find him on Facebook -

    Lawrence and "The Social Network" star Jesse Eisenberg pose in front of the winners boards during the Orange British Academy Film Awards at The Royal Opera House in London on Feb. 13, 2011.

    Getty Images / Getty Images
  • 17th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Arrivals

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    Popular pose -

    Lawrence did it first! The actress showed off her leg on the red carpet at the 17th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards in Los Angeles on Jan. 30, 2011. Jolie famously showed off her leg at the 2012 Oscars.

    Getty Images / Getty Images
  • Actress Jennifer Lawrence arrives on the

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    'Winter's' big star -

    Nominated again for "Winter's Bone," Lawrence arrives for the 68th annual Golden Globe Awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, Calif., on Jan. 16, 2011.

    AFP-Getty Images / AFP-Getty Images
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    Breakout role -

    Lawrence stars as Ree Dolly in 2010's "Winter's Bone," about a young girl's struggle to fend for and protect her poor family in the rural Ozarks.

    Roadside Attractions / Roadside Attractions
  • 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala - Arrivals

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    Hooray for Hollywood -

    Lawrence attends the 14th annual Hollywood Awards Gala at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on Oct. 25, 2010.

    Getty Images / Getty Images
  • US actress Jennifer Lawrence poses with

    Jennifer Lawrence

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    Loved in Venice -

    Lawrence poses with her Marcello Mastroianni prize for her role in "The Burning Plain" during the closing ceremony of the 65th Venice International Film Festival on Sept. 6, 2008.

    AFP-Getty Images / AFP-Getty Images
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    In 'Plain' sight -

    Lawrence stars as Mariana and J.D. Pardo stars as Young Santiago in the 2008 film "The Burning Plain." The film also starred Charlize Theron and Kim Basinger.

    Magnolia Pictures / Magnolia Pictures
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    Small-screen start -

    Lawrence, center, started her acting career on the TBS comedy "The Bill Engvall Show," in which she played eldest daughter Lauren Pearson alongside Syler Gisondo, left, and Graham Patrick Martin. The series premiered in 2007 and lasted three seasons.

    Everett Collection / Everett Collection
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    Playing her cards right -

    Lawrence won the Los Angeles Film Festival award for outstanding performance for her role as Agnes in the 2008 film "The Poker House."

    Everett Collection / Everett Collection
  • Jennifer Lawrence poses in high end fashion shoots prior to being famous.

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    Young model -

    Lawrence poses during a fashion shoot with photographer Chris Kaufman when she was 15. By the time she was 23, she was the face of Dior.

    Coleman-Rayner / Coleman-Rayner
  • Jennifer Lawrence

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    Future star -

    Lawrence in eighth grade in 2005 at Kammerer Middle School in Louisville, Ky. The actress was born on Aug. 15, 1990.

    Seth Poppel / Yearbook Library / Seth Poppel / Yearbook Library






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