Aw, would you look at that? The "Teen Mom"stars are finally growing up.
Or are they? While some young mamas are celebrating important rites of passage, others seem to be stuck in the juniors department.
So who's moving on, and who's not moving at all?
Maci, Maci, Maci. Boyfriend Kyle quits his job in Nashville to move near Maci's Chattanooga university, and she repays him by dropping most of her college classes? Meanwhile baby daddy Ryan has managed to hold down a full-time job — for two months! — and has hired a lawyer to make sure his mom's his joint custody arrangement is legally binding. It's sad to see either parent (a title that Ryan is earning for a change, even if he is still living at home) part with their son for a few days, but why isn't Maci taking advantage of that time to, you know, do homework and stuff?
As usual, Catelynn and Tyler are putting the other Teen Moms to shame. The affianced stepsiblings had plenty to celebrate — Tyler just graduated high school, and Catelynn is close to receiving her own diploma. Up top! Sure, we don't know many teachers who would high-five us for getting a "D" on a crucial history exam, but these kids aren't looking to get a fancy degree in slackery from Chattanooga State University. Papa Butch was sadly MIA from Tyler's graduation party, but now that he's out of the halfway house and working, hopefully we'll see more of him — and more importantly, his mullet — in future episodes.
What we did not want to see more of was Farrah's grief-stricken girlfriend ex-girlfriend storyline. Especially when it makes us cry. What should have been a maudlin scene — Farrah's first visit with Sophia to her baby daddy Derek's grave site — was truly poignant thanks to her supportive (and endlessly patient) mom Debra and Jerry's joy in seeing his son live on in his granddaughter. (But based on her revisionist account of her relationship with Derek, Farrah deserves a worse history grade than Catelynn.)
Amber had her own peculiar family reunion — with baby Leah, baby daddy Gary and their feuding mothers — at the Department of Child Protective Services, where the troubled mama seemed to make a good impression. (Perhaps because Farrah absconded with Amber's favorite Oompa-Loompa orange pancake makeup?) Alas, all hopes of a happy ending were ruined by (1) Amber's fury at her mother's lack of "supporture"; (2) Amber's baffling inability to create a home where she can spend time with her daughter; and (3) our knowledge that this story ends very, very badly.
There's lots of schooling going on; are the teen moms actually learning anything? Grade them on the Clicker's Facebook page!