Aug. 2, 2013 at 5:21 PM ET
Are you a mom of boys? If tutus and braids and teeny tiny shoes for teeny tiny dolls are a foreign concept to you, it’s a good bet you've got some boys thundering around your house. Yes, yes, we know that not all boys are truck-obsessed, mud-hoppers with a penchant for farts, but let's be honest: The expression boys will be boys was created for a reason. Got a little man at home? Chances are you've outed yourself as a mom of boys with one (or, heck, all) of these signs.
1. You know a digger from a dump truck from a front loader.
2. You've given up on the "no balls in the house" rule and simply ask them not to throw too hard.
3. You've been the Joker to his Batman.
4. You've mentally planned your route to the closest ER—because, really, it's just a matter of time.
5. High-fives are not annoying anymore.
6. You've stopped sitting on the floor for fear a child will land on your shoulders.
7. You totally over-buy when a friend gives birth to a baby girl.
8. All of your throw pillows and cushions are on the floor. Always.
9. You say "fire truck!" out loud every time you pass one whether your kid is with you or not.
10. You've baby-wiped the ring of dirt off your child's neck and armpits.
11. You're sad when no one wants to play with the train track anymore.
12. Your butt gets wet each time you sit on the toilet.
13. You hear silence and start to panic.
14. You've carted a caped and masked superhero to the playground or grocery store.
15. You can do a spot-on Mater impression.
16. You have at least three modes of transportation per child—skateboard, bike, scooter.
17. You've stepped on and sworn at dozens of Legos.
18. You've explained more than once that it’s not a race if no one knows about it.
19. You tell yourself the mess in the kids' room is really just a fort.
20. Most of your child’s pants have holes in the knees.
21. You've stared up into a tree, hoping your kids makes it down in one piece.
22. You're a mom of boys if you have a dried-out bouquet of weeds saved somewhere —because you just couldn't bring yourself to throw it away.
Mom of two Holly Pevzner is a writer and editor. Follow her on Twitter and Google +.
A version of this story originally appeared on iVillage.