Labor, delivery and ... sex? Say it isn't so
Ah, labor – the mind-numbing contractions, the mucus plug, the gush of fluid after the amniotic sac breaks. It’s all so… hot! For most of us, the labor and delivery room is more about pushing and less about thrusting, but one labor and delivery nurse says that for some couples, baby-delivering time looks an awful lot like baby-making time.
Writing at Mommyish, labor and delivery nurse, Chaunie Brusie, says that it’s not unheard of for couples to get frisky in the labor and delivery ward. Brusie wrote:
“Throughout my tenure, I’ve noticed that labor and delivery brings out a lot of things in people. And one of them, apparently, is sex."
Most gals who get the boot from the triage room waddle home in disappointment to start timing contractions all over again. Most, but not all. Some apparently use the 15 minutes needed to arrange discharge paperwork to discharge some of their own pent-up sexual needs. Brusie wrote about one couple that got down to business in the triage room; despite the fact that they were only separated from two other expectant couples by thin hospital sheets.
Amazingly, that wasn’t an isolated incident, says Brusie.
“One nurse I know caught her patient with a man in her bed during her labor—and he wasn’t the father of the baby she was delivering."
Even if you’re up for a little fun in the moments before giving birth, the minutes after delivering a baby have got to be the least sexual in any person’s life, right? Not necessarily. Brusie recalls the time she recommended that a patient (who had given birth just 30 minutes earlier) take a shower. The patient’s boyfriend then helpfully offered to assist his lady in the shower, hinting that he was ready to get down and dirty while getting his baby mama clean.
Of course, it’s not all fun and kinky games. One woman reportedly needed surgery shortly after giving birth – because she and her husband had gone for it and her stitches were all torn. Just reading about that can make your vagina shriek in pain.
While these stories seem to be fairly common, judging by most of the comments at Mommyish, most of us are still ready to take a pass. It also appears that most dads have the good sense (or squeamishness) to wait six weeks or so before resuming relations – otherwise there might be fewer dads out there. Many women had reactions similar to Kate who commented:
“Yeah... I was too busy resenting the s*** out of my husband for dozing while I had contractions all night. If he had even HINTED at getting busy I think the courts would have a justifiable homicide on their hands.”
If my husband would have suggested a little nooky while I was doubled-over in pain during labor, it’s entirely likely that I would have decked him. And, as for afterwards? The only thing I wanted anywhere near that area was my peri bottle.
What about you? Were you up for getting down during labor or were you A-OK with the recommended six-week wait time?
Dana Macario is a Seattle-area mom whose mind is still boggled at the thought of having sex in a hospital.