The title of a recent study from UCLA researchers – 'The Kids Are NOT All Right' – says all you need to know about our country’s angst-ridden youth.
Apparently college freshman are more stressed out than ever, with pressures ranging from academic competition to the economy to financially pinched parents.
The study, in its 25th year, surveyed more than 200,000 incoming freshman and found that only 52 percent rated their emotional health as above average, compared to 64 percent in 1985.
Of course, stress doesn’t just happen to teens. It can start mounting at an early age (as early as preschool!) and can turn into physical problems as well as increasing their likelihood for depression.
Stressful, right? There's hope: You can learn to recognize your kids' stress signs and teach them healthy ways to manage it. Educational psychologist and TODAY contributor Dr. Michele Borba offers some practical coping tips for three different age groups.
For younger childen (preschoolers):
Blow those worries away. Teach breathing skills by telling kids to blow up a balloon in their tummy as you slowly count to three, and then let out with the exaggerated “ahhh” sounds they use at the doctor’s office. Borba says kids can also practice taking slow, deep breaths using a bubble blower until they get the right “feel.”
Melt the tension. Tell your child to make his body feel stiff and straight like a wooden soldier so that every bone from his head to toe is “tense” (or “stressed”). Then tell him to make his body limp (or “relaxed”) like a rag doll. Once he can make himself relax, he can find the spot in his body where he feels the most tension; perhaps his neck, shoulder muscles, or jaw. He then closes his eyes, concentrates on the spot, tensing it up for three or four seconds, and then lets it go.
For school age children:
Teach a stress buster formula of 1 + 3 + 10. This is a three step approach that kids can apply when they feel their body getting tense. The “1” is to first stop and tell yourself, “Be calm.” The “3” reminds them to take three deep breaths. Then they should counts slowly to ten inside their head. Borba suggests printing the formula on large pieces of paper to help kids remember it.
Make a ‘Stress Box.’ Invite the whole family to fill a shoebox with proven stress reducers such as a notepad and pencil (to draw or write their stress away); a small Koosh ball, Playdoh or clay to work their stress out; an MP3 or CD player and relaxation sounds to listen to with earphones.
For teens:
Bring on the tunes. Suggest that they load their iPod with music that helps them tune out and relax.
Create a “stay cool” mantra. Teach your teen to say a comment inside her head to handle stress. They can say “Calm down” or “I can do this” or “It’s nothing I can’t handle.” Borba suggests having teens write the phrase down to reinforce it.
Get some yoga on. Adolescents credit yoga teaching relaxation and breath control. So why not do it with them? Purchase a yoga DVD that you can do at home together, or invite another parent and teen to join you and make it a weekly routine.
All kids will show signs of stress now and then, but Borba says you should be concerned “when you see a marked change in what is ‘normal’ for your child’s behavior that lasts longer than two weeks.”
That’s when it’s time to seek help from a professional. And don’t wait. “Stressed-out kids are two to four times more likely to develop depression, and as teens they are much more likely to become involved with substance abuse,” Borba says.
Do you have any tips on teaching kids how to cope with stress?