Snooki is having a baby this summer. Let the commentary begin. While the reality star’s future on Jersey Shore might be hindered by the impending bundle of joy, she is confident in her innate maternal instincts. She told V Magazine earlier this month, “Everyone will be surprised to see a different side of me. I’m loving, caring, sensitive, protective, and very maternal, no matter what people might think.”
Before you judge Snooki’s fitness to be a mother, consider for a moment your own wildest days (and nights), and how they would have played out in an edited-for-conflict “reality” show. (And your antics weren’t encouraged by producers standing by with body shots.)
No matter what you think of her on-screen persona, I’d argue that the public perception of Nicole Polizzi, aka Snooki, is — at least in part — controlled by Ms. Polizzi. She’s no dummy. I’m not saying she’s secretly a Mensa-card-carrying neurobiologist exploiting the entertainment game until her Nobel prize comes through, but neither am I. Neither are you. We’re decent moms anyway, aren’t we? If the infamous Jersey girl can handle Hollywood, I say she can rock the motherhood gig.
Truth is we all screw up our kids. We also love them as best we know how. Reality stars are no different. But oh, how Snooki will be a magnet for our rampant maternal judgment. Let’s choose instead to believe she’s going to be a great mom.
Here are a few ways Snooki might excel at the mom game:
1. Basic baby maintenance
Snooki is used to people puking on her. One cannot overestimate the value of this maternal attribute. Mothers must get accustomed to being sprayed with human body fluids at all hours of the night. Advantage Snooki.
2 Hello, multi-tasking!
Clubbing, on-screen debauchery, publishing, launching product lines of everything from scents to slippers, and now a boxing team! This girl does it all. As a mom, she will draw on these skills, all while bouncing a new baby for the cameras.
3. Picking her battles
I don’t imagine Snooki will obsess over whether the bows match the socks, or whether there is spit-up on the “Team Vinny” onesie. And compared to those Jersey Shore roommates, living with babies, toddlers, and teens will seem like a Zen retreat.
4. Nurturing a positive self-image
Snooki told V Magazine she feels like the most bullied celebrity. It hurts to be a media target, but the pain will make her more sensitive to her child’s feelings about the inevitable nickname, Meatball.
5. Gym-Tan-Laundry (GTL)
No, I’m not suggesting Snooki take the baby into the tanning bed. Rather she can teach her child powerful study skills. GTL is a mnemonic device, and those are handy for boosting scores on standardized tests like the SAT — whatever that stands for.
Nicole, you want my advice? Deck that baby out in animal print, slap on some outrageous sunglasses, and enjoy the ride, because motherhood is a whole lot wilder than any boardwalk or nightclub.
Lela Davidson is the author of Blacklisted from the PTA (Jupiter Press, imprint of Wyatt-MacKenzie, July 2011). Her writing is featured regularly in family and parenting magazines throughout the United States and Canada. She blogs about marriage, motherhood, and life-after-40 at After the Bubbly.
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